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JV u Itrcy
THE
DEVILS PAT&IARCK,
OR
A Full and Impartial Account Of the
NOTORIOUS LIFE
Of this Prefent
of
INNOCENT the nth.
Wherein Is nnvly Difcovered his Rife and
. Rtign i The Time and Manner of Kis being chofen
.Pope i His Prime Procclfion , Confecration and
Coronation i The Splendour and Grandeur o^his
Court ; His moit Eminent and Gainful Cheats, by
which he Gulls the filly People i His Secret and
Of en Ttv.nfaiitions with the Papifts in En%liind,Scot-
hnd, Francs and IrcLmd, and other Proteflant
Count! evs to .this very day ; Together with the
'. jfyft of the Hellilh Policies and Infamous Ad:ions
or -his wicked Life.
Written by an Eminent Pen to Revive the Remem brance of the alnicft forgotten Plot againft the Life of hisi'acred Majeity and the Proteltant Religion.
ro
LONDON, Printed for John Dimton at Raven in the Poultry. _i683-
THE
PREFACE
T O T H E
READ E R.
Candid and Gurteous Reader,
WHen a fttddain and furpriz>ing In- vafion is made upon us by ft Foreign Power , every Right- thinking Mind cannot hut Judg it high time to Fife our Beacons. jEfbps Witty Wifdom, ( in his Fable of the Shep herd-Boy, that crfd out falfly, AS well as frequently , £ The Wolf comes , the WoJf comes, Help, Help. ] to the People, ) hath in the Apologues Moral a 'very Jhrewd Con- gruity, with our prefevt Cafe, thcugb there -wants not alfofome Difparity.
( I.) The Congrtlity conjijh i# thefi parti culars,
Firlt, Every Shepherd Jhcttld he careful to preserve the Flock committed to kis Charge ; Jo otught every Myftical, as well asyhe Lite ral Shepherd, ( whether itofvlos ailt 'EWI?X<* w '&•, Toung or Old, ) to he.
B Secondly,
The Preface
Secondly, Both ought to cry out of Proba ble And Approaching Dangers. It was not at all Improbable, that the Wolf was a coming, becaufe he us"*d frequently to do fo.
Thirdly, When Dangers he both Probable and Approaching, (/er, Var the Nature of the Beaft to worry the Sheep, ) then "'tis the Du- y of Both, not only to Cry out, but to Crave Help from the Peoples Hands, yea to quicken up their Ajjifttmce with ftrcng and Reiterated Outcry s, That the Abaddon, ( a bad cm in- dee d, ) the Apollyon, cr Devouring Beaft, is juft a coming,
Fourthly, All Hands are few enough to Help the Lord againft this Mighty, ( yea, in the Romifh phraje, Almighty, ) Beaft.'
Fifthly, All private Works muft be left, ( both in City and Countrey, ) for flopping the ftrong Current of a Publick and (Common . Calamity.
Sixthly, As the Sheep of JEibps Shepherd were Gracing, [_ in eminentiori Loco, J up- cn Lofty Mountains , yet not Inaccefiible to the Wolf: So the Sheep, which Gofpel-Shep- herds are feeding , and which the Romifh Wclf would Worry, are likewise Gracing up- tn the Holy-Hill of 2ion, the higheft of all Hills , .yet not fo high , but , when the Sins •vf the Sheep do open a pajjage, becomes Accei- iible/0 the Wolf alfo. Where the PC aft hath
been
to the Reader.
been before, Treading down the Green Pa~ fturcs^ and fouling the Reiidue with his foul Feet, he hath fome hope for returning tbi- tber again y elpecially, feeing the Neft-Egg of Romilrr Reliques ts ftill left behind to encou rage bis Return : Bloody Bifoop Bonner could once Briskly Brag, Such as like to Sup our Broth, we will make them love to Eat our Beef too : God grant us a good Deliverance frcm fucb Barbarous Butchers , and Beaftly Butcheries, from that Brutifh People, Skilful to Deftroy.
(2.) As t o the Disparity, Firir, The. Outcry of /Efops Shepherd-Roy was only, [ Joci gratia, ~] a falfe Holloe for Sport-fake, a Bojijh-Trick, playing the Wag with the Mafters of the Sheep, to wbom he was but an Hireling-Servant : Bmt the Outcry of our Shepherds have been ever more Real and Serious, front the many JLflays and At- tewpts, which Rome has really made to Re duce ( as Colemans Phrafe isy ) this Nor thern Htrefie to her Obedience : She hath all along, ever fince the Reformation of Religi on here, with all her Fraud and Force, with all Her Craft and Cruelty endeavoured to re* enter with her Deformation of it, and to Re cover both her Neft, and her Nelr-Egg, from whish foe was forced.
B 2 Second-
Thfi-Preface
Secondly, Our Outcry hath not been made ly Come ens Novice, or of many Kovices on ly t but alfo of the moft Grave, nioft "judici ous, and moft Thinking Discerning Fathers of the Sheepfold, who, with Moles, csuld efpye the 'Very firft Outgoings of Wrath, and, with Elijah could Obferve a Black Cloud, though no bigger than a Mam Hand : All thefe at Sun dry Times , and in Divers Manners, have ciJc.i' as with one Mouth Sounded Loud
Thirdly, Ttoough thofe called in to he Afji- ftants againft the Wolf, in the Fable, [ nihil elfe comperiebant, ^ found nothing of real Danger. Tet thofe cattd together to Ajfift a- gainft the Wolf of Romes Incurfions, have upon undenyalile ground-s found out a Real Dan- ' ger, Witnefs Hx Majefty and Privy-Conn-' cils Reiterated Proclamations , the Unani mous Votes of Four Succeffive Parliaments, ( all caWd upon for their Affiftants^ &c. ) The Forms of Prayer, Compoled and Impofed by the Bifhops, for the Fa(l appointed by Au thority, upon the Account of the Popifh Plot, as alfo the Murdtr of Juftice Godfrey, and . the Juft Execution of fome Grand Confpira- tors.
Fourthly, The Sheep-worrying Beaft in the Fable, is exprejly called a Wolf only , though be other Beajts as obnoxious to Sheep.
to the Reader.
But this Molock of Rome is fucb a BlouJy Beaft-j as no Name could fufficiently exprefs bis Bloud-Thirjtinefs. Hereupon (i.) Daniel calls the Fir It Beaft, ( or Allyrian Empire,) a Lyon. The Second, ( the Medo-Perilan,) a Bear. The Third, ( the Grecian,) a Leo pard. But the Fourth, to wit, ( the Ro man Empire, ) he calls a Beaft in general, ( without any name, ) as if Exceeding, ( as well as Including, ) the Savage Nature of all the Three former , Dan. 7.4, f, 6, 7, 23. (2. ) John alfo, ( *j W/ *M Daniel, ) calls him a, Beaft in the general ', ( without, becaufe above any Name, ) jet makes he him a Mon-
ftrous Btqft , Compotmde4 of all the Three Beafrs aforefaid , as bat'ing the Feet of a Bear, rhe Mouth of a Lyon, Himfelf like
~a Leopard, and the Dragon giving him Power, Revel. 13. 2. ^W though Rome Heathen /W/> ^owe much agamft Chrifts Sheep, Slaying its Thoulands, yet Rome Anti-Chriftian hath done more, and far out done it in Slaying its Ten Thoulands : So that this Bealt, ( above all Names, ) is a Beaft with a Witnefs, an Hyperbolical Behe moth, as if many Beaft s made up One, ( fa the Hebrew Plural Feminine fignifes, ) far beyond the mo{£ Blcud-ThirJty Wolf, _yea the mo ft Savage Cannibal, for Eating the Flefa and Drinking the Blond of Poor Proteitants, B 2, evtn
The Preface
even to an high Inebriation, as the Second will more fully Demcnftate : Take but this Taft /here, 'Tis credibly Related, That in the [pace ff Eight Hundred Tears, this Monftrons Beaft, ( who hath all Cruelties Concentred in him, ) hath been the Death of Twelve Milli ons of Chriftians. Idta Reform. Antichr. Tom. i. Part 2. Sed. 2. Cap. 6. To Inftance only one Specimen of this Pourtray'd Eeaft in. this place, to wit, Pope JuHus the Second, C ivh& was turn d up Trump, and Triumph' d in the Chair of Peftilence, in the Fifteenth Centu ry ) that made a jhift to Worry ( in Seven Tears /pace of his Papacy ) no fewer than Seven Hundred Tko-tjand Sheep. See Baleus de Adis Rom. pontif. lib. 7. 'Tis one of Luthers Divine Raptures, that Cain ( the Firft-Born of the Devils Patriarks ) foall be Murdering bis Brother Abel to the end ff the World : and tbe Older he groweth, the mere Blcud-Thirfty he becometh : T'his Romilh Runner ( as is commonly faid of the Com mon in Dairy Hcufes ) the Older it is, it grows Co much the Stronger. If the Eaaft were Jo Blcudy in that Century aforementioned, how much more may be be expelled in this prc- fent Pope. Seeing [ Morfus moribund;e Beftia? lunt maxinie mortiferi, ] The laft Ritings of a Dying Re aft arewoftly me ft Dead ly : and whether this bejettaft, Sub Judice f •* ,.
lis
to the Reader.
lis eft, 'm a matter of Controverfie , and if •not , I would ask my Countrymen Prote- ftants, Is this a Beaft fit to he Courted into England ? 'which is indeed the Bloudy Scar let-Colo ur'd Whore, that better defer vet h to he Carted out of it , and out of the World alfo.
Fifthly, It doth not appear, that the Wolf in the Fable was ever retrained from any At tempts by thofe frequent outcries for d/fiftaxce, feeing the Revert of his approaching was falfe until the laft. But this Beaft of 'Rome hath had many fignaland fingiilarreftraintsby King end Parliament, &c. But above all, by an In- vi/ible and an Over-ruling Hand ; (o that foe hath been conjirained to alter her Methods, and to take new Me A fares, Foifting her dead Brats into the Bofctn of Innocent Proteftarrts, which though it need not the Wisdom of a Solomon- to Discover, yet requireth it ths Power of a Parliament more fully to Determine, in a way of fondic at ive ^fuftice.
Sixtly and Laftly, Iwifowith all my Soul, that there may be found more Disparity than Congruity in the Cataitrophe and Clofure of ihe Fable, as Relating to our prefent Gale. "The Apologue indeed concludeth thus^ that where as the Husbandmen had b?en eft abufed by the falfe Alarms of -the Boy, leaving t/xir Ploughs ft and ing Idle, in the Field to d'livSr ihe Shetv
B 4
The Preface
when there was -no Danger jhenthtWo\£ corn-* ing in good earneft , the Boy cries out^ but was not believed by them, whom he had Jo oft deceived, hereupon the Wolf prevails againft the Boy, Worries the Sheep without refiftance, Gluts himjelfwith their Flefr and Bloud, and efcapes away fcotfree, without fo much as a Mow for that unparalleled mifcheif : 'The Moral of this laft part is, as Solomon, with- his wonderful Wijdom, helps us to Interpret it, faying , VVoe be to that Land, that hath £rai'«jw« A^jOviumPaftorerrfjno wiferthan a Ch\ld,Eccl.io.i6./llas,He is not able, (though never fo witting )to Deliver his Flock fac. Solo mon faith alfitBunn multitude of Councel- lors there is fafety, Trov. 11.14. This ShepS herds Boy had Co much Hrit in him, as to call in more helping Hands to his ownjhcugh he did oft cry fo Childifhly, and at laft (through his own foolifo fraud) fruitleily without {uccefs**. We have had many loud Alarms T'rumpeted out, crying, [The Romifh Wolf is coming, Help, Help,] and though none of the many have beenfalfe outcries, as before, yet would to Gcd the Helping Husbandmen -may not (through fo many Disappointments) grow wea ry of ^p^earmgj fo let the Devouring Eeaft have his Blcnd-Thirjly Luft fatiated upcn the Proteltant-Sheep , and all this without any find oppo/itton. But though this
Apologue
to the Reader.
Apologue of yfcfbps be thus fignificantly Cuita-
bl&tn its Moral, yet have we & Divine Para
ble (to Wit, that of Jotharns, Judg. 9-) that
infinitely TranfcenJs it in it signal and/ingttlar
Signature as to ourpreftnt Calamitous Condition.
Blondy Abimeleck ( a bale Caltard ) Ufarps
the Kingdom, which by fubtlc practicing upon
his Kinsfolk and tbt Men of Shechem he
craftily compafled, and ( by the help of his
'Vile Vagrants and Villanous Followers, Hired
with the Treasure o/'Baal-Berithj as cruelly
coniHtuted the foundation of it, in Murdering
(like a bloudy Tyrant) Seventy Innocent, and
all Legitimate Competitors to 'make his way to
the 'Throne, Good Jotham cnely escaping, He
takes the boldnefa (notwithstanding his Perfonat
Danger) to make his mind (yea and Gods too)
known to the Men of Shechem from the top
of Mount Gerizim (tkat Bleiling, not Mount
Ebal that Curling Mountain) Before he took
to his Heels, and fled from the Tyrant. As
this Sacred Apologue of Jotham's, ( who,
though but a young Man, was vir bonus, di-.
cendi peritus, a good Man, and a good Ora
tor, one that coiild declare his Mind fitly,
and duril do it Freely, being [ VOT^T^ \
Inspired of Gods Spirit ) dc.th therefore far
( I fay) Tranfcend the aforesaid Fable cf
yi£fbp, fo it more highly merits a larger Def-
cantutitn it, were I not bound »p to the Narrow
Limits
The Preface
Limits of a. Short and yet Succinft Preface. • Hereupon, all that I am Allowed to Add, is, to let the Ingenious Reader know, that the He brew Doftors do Understand by the Fig-Tree in the Parable, Renowned Deborah their Delive- refs, as by the Olive-tree Othniel, or Ehud, and by the Fruitful Vine, Gideon with his Numerous Off-tyring ; what; is meant by the Bramble needs not much Explication, it being n->t a Tree, but a Shrub (the Product of Gods Curfe upon the Earth, Gen. 3. 17,18.) Prickly, Barren, Bafe, Abject, good for no- thivg, but to Stop Gaps, or Kindle a Fire : Abimeleck was a Right Bramble indeed, who rcw in the baft He,dg-Row of a Contemptible Concubine , who horribly- fcratchd and drew Bloud topurpofe, when once he had ( by the help of Baal-Beriths Treasure) fcrambl'd up to a Dominion ever Ifrael, whcrcunto he was Handed hy his hired Eeggerly Rafcals, and Debauched Defy zr ados : The c/^Ws-n" or Moral Hereof (as to us) is obvious to every dimmon Under (landing, and neither the Ex plication, nor the Application is any matter of Difficulty : I (hati therefore conclude my Pre liminary part with this pathetical Epiphone- ma, as a Golden Key to open the My fiery of Iniquity ; Oh England, .England, Thou haft had thy Delivering Deborah ( Queen Elizabeth) who favedthee in Gods Hand from
the
lie Curled Canaanites, that dtlt cruelly with thee in the Marian Days, Thou baft alfo had iby Othniels, Ehuds who didjtab the Red Letter Came with their very Pens {as King James ) excellently and unanswerably Acccnt- plified, though he was but left handed /cr the Swcrd, having for his Motto [_ Rex pacift- ClisJ which one wittely Englifatd [ put up thy Dagger Jamy] And fome Abufive wits limn (I hm Tifture with a Padlock upon his Swcrd, yet his Learned Writing did fo effec tually vindicate his undoubted Right again ft Pope Paul the Fifth, that there was no need cf Martial Warring (Cedant Arma Toga?, o^c.) There was no occasion for Mars, where Minerva was hx Bellona, -which wade his Un-Ho!ine(s Decline the Enaunter : Thou haft- likewife bad thy Gideon with a fruitful Ofspring, Jinut Aflertors of the Reformed Re- ligiov, fimddft fhoit ? now fcrjake the Fitnefs, the FatnefSj and the Fruitfulnefs of thy Truly Noble Figtree, Olive and Vine (which indeed hath cheered God and Man) ard at laft em brace a Bale Bramble, that exotick, dry, empty, Saples Kex and Weed of a Forraign Power, to wit, that of the Man of Sin, the Son of Perdition and the wicked one, which if the threefold Black-Brand, wherewith An- tichriil is Stigmatised by the Koly Ghoft. Plow far this threefold Character agreetb with
the
The Preface
the Pope ; Seethe Man of Sin, lily. I, chap. 4. Foulis Hiftory of Romiih Treafons and U- ftirpations per totum, and Neiles Difco- very of Antichrift, fag. $$•. to 63. &c. oy/vzt f&dr 6iy» Aut hours Report of them Wizy &e £<?/ believed : That this Babylonifh Brat is a Baftard like the Bramble Abimeleck, and and not Legitimate, or Heaven-born, their own very Creatures are ccnftrained to Ccnfefs.
As Firft, Platina, who was the PopeV own Secretary, and Keeper of the Vatican-, Library , yea a Writer by Commijfion from Pope Sixtus the Fourth.
Secondly , Benno Ufpergenfls , cne of Romes own Cardinals.
Thirdly, And Math. Parifienfis a Bene- didin Monk of the Monajlary of St. Albans here in England, All theft three ( ncne of them -writing out of "Prejudice, fo they would have bewrayed their own Neft, but Imparti ally and in Truth} doe Unanimously Defcribe the Popes to be Limbs of the Devil ; the I aft of which Relates, HOW [Diabolug, &: Infe- roram Contaberninm, d^c.] that the De? vil and All his Hellijli Crew Wrote Gratulato- ry Letters to the Pope and his Clergy, for fending more Souls to Hell, than ever went before, Math. TarisHift. Angl. Gull. Conqmft. Anno. 1072. pag. 10. Tea ncne cf them can deny, but that fiwe eftheYcpes fold themfdves
to
to the Reader.
to the Deuilfor their obtaining of the Tofedom by his Craft. Therefore the Men of Shechem or England need no Jotham to Proclaim to them, (feeing the 'Very Romanifts themfelves fay enough} that if in Truth ye Anoint this Pope to have Dominion over you, and Re turn again to put your Truft in his Shadow, ye will be not onely Notoriously difapointed in your Shelter under fucb a Shadow (for the Bramble-Bufii cannot yeild any good shade ; the filly Sheep flying to it for Jhelter, are fure to hfe part of their Fleece, if not of their Flefo too) But alfo a Fire will flow fiercely forth from this Bafe Bramble to Devour you, *nd your tulle ft Cedars : This one Ternt- tilius cr Baltard will dejlroy all your true* barn Sons : He that hath but half an eye, may both fee and forefee the Matchlefs mifcheifs that muft be its Conferences, which they that are fo Hot for a Popim Siicceflbur ( while they yet frefefs themftl-ves to be good Proteftants) dee not Duly and Truly Conjider. But 1 muft not detain you too loug in the Porch, fcr fear of your catching cold. Having Dtfpatched the Prologue, ccnjijting of a Double Apologue, (which may be further Illuftrated and dpplyedin the Epilogue ) Let me now hand you to the Houfe it felf, wherein you may take a plain Profpettofthis prefentPope limn d to the his Right Red VtrwiKon Colours.
1.0.
•'•• >•»"
The Notorious
F
._y
Of this prefent
POPE of
XI.]
His prefent Po^e of Rome was Gxr- <7;#£/ Odefchalcbi of C0we in the 3«rc/&7 of Mllaine, when called to the Roman-Chair , whether we wrong him in reckoning him among the Bafe Brambles of the Curfed Earth, is the £ T> 'CVTK.AVOV ] Poftulatum, or Grand Enqui ry. In the General let Dr. Prideaux give the Anfvver for me, who Writes a Compendious Hiftory of the Lives of all the Popes, and after he hath paft the Patriarchs, ( and the tollerable Popes ) He begins at Anno Dom. 606. with Ufurping Nimrods , ( a Worfe Name than Brambles) and Reckons T&rty £/£&/£ Popes ( Crw/ Hunters all, ) from that Year, to 847.
The
2, The Notorious Life
The Firft of which. Black Bed-Roll, was Boniface the Third, and Leo the Fourth was the Laft.
His next Rank were (as he Stiles them ) Rank Liixurions Sodomites, whereof He Rec kons Forty, from the Year 8^5- . 10996. the Ftrft of them was Pope John the Eighth ( in plain Englifl}, Pope Joan, the Rank Whore, which God would have, to Declare to all the World, That the Church-of Rome is the ^pocalyptick Whore, ) and the Laft of that N umber was Gregory the Fifth.
His Third fort of Popes, from the Year 999. to 1240. that He prelents to out View, are another Bundle of Forty Popes a- gain, whom He Dignifies with that Ho nourable Title of ts£g)p;ian Magicians ; the Firft of this Black Regiment was Syl- vefter the Second, and the Laft was Calepwe the Fourth.
His Fourth Profpett of Popes He giveth, is another lovely Cl after of Sower Grapes, confifting of Eight and Thirty Popes, from the Year 1243. to 1^03. The Captain where of is Innocent the Fourth, and the Lieutenant ( that brings up the Rear ) is Pius the Thini, AH which he Brandeth for a Company of Devouring AbadHws, All Rad-ones beyond Bounds.
of thzs prefint Tope of Rome. 3
Yet ftill there be Tvorj'e behind, [ Occupat vxtremum Scabies , ~] which as tome do Eng- lifl), not only the Scab, but the Devil Com eth hindermoft. 'Tis the Divine Doom in- flifted upon the Church of Rente, as an Apo- ftate, to be waxing worfe and wcrfe, there fore it may the lefs be wondred at, that the laft Clajfis of Popes , ( which are the very Dreg! of Time, ) muft be the worft, and thereupon are worthily Stigmatiz'd with the worft Appellation. The Words of the Reverend Author aforeiaid , Run thus , [ after the Devouring Abaddons,~\ To fill up the Myftery and Meafure of Iniquity, the Jr.- curable Babylonians do neirt ftep upon the Stage, [ Curavimus B'abylona , & non ejf Sanata, jerem. Jl. 6. ] We. would have Cu red Babylon, but jhe could not be Cured, fcr the reft of the Men that were not Killed by thole Plagues, Repented not of their (i.)
urrbersy (i'J Sorceries, f}.) Fornications, (4.) Thefts, Revel. 9. 20, 21. This laft and worj? Rank reaches from the Year
p3- to this prefent 1683. betwixt which 1'wo Periods the Number of Popes are 7we»ty-Fi<ve, ( the f ewe ft Number of all the Five Glades, yet have the Fouleft , both
atne and Nature ) whereof Julius the 5^- cond leads the Van, and this prefent Pope, (the fubjecl; of our Difcourle, ) brings up the Rear. C I
4 The Notorious Life
I would have given forne ftiort Remarks upon thefe feveral Clafles, ( thus dignified and diftinguifhed with thofe Five aforefaid Honourable Titles, ) and upon the feveral Popes, as they ftand in Rank and File, un der their feveral Banners in every Claffis, had it not been befide my prefent ptirpole, and would it not have fwoln this Difconrfe too much. I (hall therefore fatisfie my felf, and the Reader with Tivo Remarks on-
fy.
The Firft Remark is, That the Leader of the Van in the Second Rank, is a Virago ra ther than a Vir^o^ a Pope of the Feminine Gender, that 1 aught Gramarians to De cline Papa with H#c not Hie : The name of this Female Pope, ( Job» or Joan ) both in a Literal and Myltical Senfe, fheweth tha^ Rome may well be called the Whore of Ba- lylon, Rcmifi Chronologers have not Inferr ed her Name in the Catalogue of Pope?, Ifhich Marianas Scotus Renders this Reafon» fpr, [_ Propter Turfituidimm Rei, & Sexitrn Muliebrem, ] becatife the wrong Gtxeler would be a Reproach to them. Wherefore to avoid the like Difgrace, the Tfcrfhirf Chair, ( or Groping-ftool ) was Ordained , Ubt ab Ultimo Diaccno , &"C. Where the loiveft Deacon muft make the Experiment. cH. Hence k is, That theie Popes who
bar.-;
of this prefent Pope of Rome. ?
have called themfelves [ Johns ] are fb ill ordered in their common Catalogues, fome making that John which Succeeded [Adrian the Second ] in the Year 872. to be John the Eighth, and others John the Ninth : In genious Platina forequoted, doth only ( of all the Romanics ) Recken Pope Joan as the Eighth of the Johns, and fb farward : And 'tis proboble enough ( faith Dr. tieyhn, a Man Fair and Favourable enough ) that God fuffer'd that Proud See of Rome to fall into fuch a profound Reproach, the more to cat the Coxcombs of the Succeeding Topes in their Higheft RufF and Riotings, and the better to beat down their Big Brags 6f a continued Succelfion , whereof they are frequently Bbafting. As [ Remember j Lots Wife ] is a due Caution to u$, fb J fee 'not why [ Remember Pope Joan _j fliotild not be likewife a true Check to them : The Truth of this Story, as to matter of Fa6t, Mr. Alexander Cook (my quondam Prede- :elfourj in his Book of Pope Joan hath pro ved it by Irrefragable Arguments, and hath noft Induftriioufly batter'd down all the 3bjedlions which the moft Mercurial Wits )f Rome could raife againft it. See his Book, md Dr. Heylins Cofinografhy in Folio the laft edition, pag. 107. &c. i'he Bafard Alim:- <x-b aforcmeiuioned did Defperately grudg, C 2 ' that
6 The Notorious Life
that it fhould be (aid [ a Woman bad Rraind him} Judg. 9. f 4. Sure I am, this bafe born Brat of Rome (the He<w/oftheChurch)hath Received ( were tie feilfible) a Deadly Wound by the hands of a Woman likewife, with this difference only, the former was Attwe, and Defigning, the latter was Taj- five, and never pufpofed the Wounding : 'Tis fuch a Reproach to the Roman Chair as will never be wiped off ; this is the Semira- mis, the Amaz>oman jQueen, the She-Captain, that ftands in the Front of the Second Rank, to wit, of the Luxurious Sodomits.
The-Stfofc/ Remark is, concerning Julio the Second, who ftands as a flout Gentralijfi- mo of the laft Rank, to wit, of Incurable Babylonians, and He is moft fitly placed in that Station, as having far more of the Sculdter, than of the Trelate in Him, keep ing Italy, all hisPopedom, in continual Wars, and for a pregnant proof, that this Romijb God, was a Man of Mettal, This is the Pope , who palling Over Tyher-BriJg, firft Brandifh'd his Sword, and then threw his Keys into the River, faying, If peters Keys would not ferve his Turn, then Pauls Sword ftiould do it Home.
Such a Ihrafonick Bravado would bet ter become Julius C<efnf the Empercttr of Rome, than Julius Secundus the Bijlmp of
R we.
df this prefent Pope of Rome. 7
Rome. But I have been thinking, that 'tis a Thowland pities, Famous Pope Joan had not her Lot in this Lalt Rank too, yea, and ( were it not to Dethrone and Diipoifes this Heroick Hector ) She might have flood in the. Captains place there, as She doth in the Second Rank, [ Detur dignion ] is the Rule, She belt deferring it : for where could that Whore of Babylon ( as above ) be bet- jter placed ? than among the Incurable B<z- \bylonians, and where could that Incurable \Whore have been better order'd t than in I the Front of that File of Defied and Defle- ing Beafts.
However, this prefent Pope, Cardinal O- /f&i/afe, ( who hath chang'd his Name [into Innccentthe Eleventh, ) is Reprefented to our View as ftanding upon the Tail and [Fag-end of thofe Incurable Babylonians : We |ii(e to- lay, Such a perfon as Labors under [a Mortal Incurable Dileafe, hath a £ Mife- rere Aid Detts^ writ upon his Door : who lit is, that Writes the Continuation of Dr. Pri- Meathls Introduction , I know not , yet he [Writes an Epitome of this our Cardinal Odef- t&fo public k Attions and Tranfatttons, [fince his coming to be Groped in the Por- \vhyry Chair : and we are much obliged to Ithat Author ( who ever he is ) for fixing thisprefent Pope under the Head of Incurable C 3
7 be Notorious Life
Babjkvians, but I know not ( in all the World ) how to Reconcile the White Chara- tfer that Author givejth him, and the Black Title he feteth over him. The Defcription of his Life there, feems to carry no Congruity with an Incurable Babylonian. 'Tis great pi ty , that any miftaking Candour fhould make fuch a DHparity : but to let that pals, come we now to give a more full and Impartial Account of his Rife and Begining, &c. So far as Hiftorians lends any light hereunto.
I find that this Perfon ( fb foon as any Fame found him} had his firft noticed Ca pacity at Come, a place of note in the Dukedom of Mill*in*\n Italy, a Town, made the more Famous by being the Birth-place of the two Famous Plinjs, and fituated on the S0w^-fide of the Lacus Larius, which from this Tcwn hath now the name of Lago fli Como, through this Lake the Ri ver Afldua, runs; yet (as Geographers lay) their two Waters do not mingle : Which two Remarks hath occafion'd in Me two Urtilies in this mtns behalf The firft is, that as Pliny became the more Famous for ftop- ping Trtfpw the Kmperonr from persecuting the poor Chriltians in the Empire, by wri ting elegantly to Him, that He found no ' greater fault laid to the charge of the per- .
fecartcl,
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 9
fecuted, fave this, that they did (Cantus Ante-lucanos canere) fmg Pfalms before day ; upon which Letter the perfecution ceafed : So would to God this prefent' Pope might write fuch an effectual Letter to the French King in the behalf of the poor perfecuted Proteftants in France, (Hire I am, he can rind no worfe faults in them) fo flop the perfecution there, this would make him more Famous, than ever the Recovery of his Regality $ (he hath been fo long contend ing for) can Render Him : whereas, to be outvy'd by a blind Heathen ( fuch was Pliny) in fhch a good Work of P/efyand Charity (which are Works highly cryed UP ,at Rome) may Render Him for ever Infa mous. Especially if He be found to puih it on and promote it, inftead of putting a ftop to it. The fecond Wty is, Oh that this pretended Vicar of Chrift may learn fbme- Divine Leilbn, even from the very Nature of his own Country-River, which will not mingle its pure Streams with the puddle wa,- ter of a corrupt edftanding Lake : not to play the Huxter in Sophiiticating, and Adultera ting the truth of the Gofpel, by mingling ic with corrupt Traditions. There is certain ly moft Evangelical Doctrine in that Leviti- cal Law, tbou flialt not let thy Cattle Gender with a divert Kind, tbou {lialt net Sow thy C Fie! J
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 1 1
F/r/?, Tis not eafie to Alfign the Reafbn why his proper yrgnomzn fthat ofBenc&ft) fhould become *ib dilguftful to Hint as to change it into Innocent (the Name of his Predecellburs in the Chairj feeing it was (as it fignifiesj a bhffed Name, and alfb the Name of feme Popes before him, but more of that change of Names afterwards, when we come to his Pepedom.
Secondly, There may a more probable conjefture be- given for the change of his Sir-Name, to wit, Odtfckalcho, moreeipeci- ally when it is Allowable to give an Italiek Name an Anick Etymclcgy, and fo [nomen quefinotamen~]that Name hath an evil Ibund, (eht, and fenfe, fignifying fnot a Golden) but a Brazen Scxg. That which fents and favours of Brafs (we iilually fayj is un- pleafant to the Palate, and 'tis the more likely this Name might be difguftful to his Palate, feeing his Predecedonr Sergitfs the Second, even quarelled with his own Name, which ( before lie was Pope) was [Kocca di Tcrco} ilgnifying Swine- Mouth, or H<g-Facet and thinking that ill-founding Name not fuitable to his Dignity, he therefore chang ed it. And upon ftich an Honourable Pre- fidenr, if Hog-Pace w;as fb odious a Name to the former, why might not alfo Brafs- Face or Eraz,cn-Face fas a Face of Erafs is an
appro-
ii The Notorious Life
approbrious Phrafe amongft usj be odious to this latter.
Thirdly, As to the Title of Saint Onu- pbrius he was dignified with at Come, I (hall onely fay at this time (though much more might be added ) what Tradition tells us .of tfysQmtpbrittf, that he was amonkifhMan, who lived a folitary Life for fixty years, in which fpace he faw no Man : had our Odef- cbalcbo Imitated this monkifh Patroon , and trode in this Pattern's Steps, he had never be come a Cardinal, much lefs a Pope, unto which converfmg with Men, and conveying K'mdneffis to them ( to oblige their Votes at Elcxtionj are neceilary Ingredients, and. which he to the utmoft improved.
Fourthly, As to his being made a Cardinal while at Come: this is one of the higheft pitches and pinacles of Pride ( the very next to the lofyff Spire of the Pope himfelf) that the Romifh Clergy Afpireto, for the Car. di- nals are the Popes Senatours or Privy Councel- lors, and are called Cardinal*, which is de rived from Car do, the Hinge of a Door, be- caufe upon them (as the Door hangs upon the Hinge, and turns which way we will, either for opening or fhutting) all the im portant Affairs of the Roman Church hang and are turned which way they pleafe : thus the word ^JCarelln^l} is ufually ufed
thus,
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 1 3
thus, that whereupon any thing moft turn- eth and dependeth, as to Eaft, We/, North, and South , are call'd Cardinal Points of the Contpafs. Thusalfo thofe four p rincipal Vcr- tues, [Prudence, Jnftice, Fortitude, and Tew- ferance] are call'd the Cardinal Vertues. And thus the Word is generally taken to denote fomething that is Chief and Principle : So thefe Cardinals are : But the Hinge, upon which thefe Cardinals did themfelves at the firft Hang, was very Low, and their Ori ginal Extract very Contemptible : For this great Office did creep into the Roman Church thus, Pope Marcetius in the Third Century divided the City of Rome into 2f Partjbes ( fome Authors call them Diocefles) over each of which He appointed a Presbyter, whole work was Affigned to Baptize Hea thens Converted , and to Bury the Dead within their ieveral Precmch : Thele were afterward called Cardinals , or Principal Priefrs, or Deacons, becauie they had f ^% ram Ammarum ] the Cujre of Souls com mitted to them, and had others (' in Sacred . Orders alfo ) under them: There be Three forts of Holy Orders, fb called, to difun- gnifh them from their Four other Orders, ( Door-Keeper, Readers, ExorciJ^s, Acolyths^ . or Taper-tie anr$> ) Theie are , Fir ft, The Sn!?-Dc<?cws, ( whole Office is the Grope,
ing
14 The Notorious Life
ing Work, &c. ) Secondly, The Deacon ( who, with the former, hath the Honour only to kite the Bifhops Hand at the Ordi nation, ) See Ro/es View, &c. fag. 45-1. The Third, Is die Prieft, whom the Rifoop Kiileth to (hew his 'Parity in Refpect of Or der, Id;m Ibidem Thefe fame 2f Priefts of fo many Parifhes in the City, being always fb nigh the Pope, the more that be grew up gradually into his -Grandeur, the higher did be draw up thefe Priefts ( his Appurte nances ) their pplhire all along keeping pace with the Popes Pomp, Adeb »t quod in principle Onsri fuitf Tandem Alie^uanclb Hf>no- ri efle C<epit.' So, that which at rirft was but a Porrand Burdenrcm Office, became at length an Employ of Dignity and Honour : Thus Dr. Hqlm Teftifieth, That Pope Tafcbal the Firft caufed the Priefts of the feveral Pariflies in Rime, by reafbn of their nearnefs to his Perfbn, their prefence at his Eledlion, to be Honoured 'with a more Venerable Title, that is, to be called Cardinals, See Cofwgr. pag. 107. at the Top. Thus from a company of pitiful PariJJ) Priefts , they account themfelves not only Check-Males to Princes, but alfb Compeers with Kings themlelve? ; but indeed they ought to be efteemed the principal Limbs of the Bsaft ; yea, they are 10 far Incorpo rated
of this prefent Pope of Rome. I $
raced with the Tope himfelf, that they muft riot ( forfboth ) fo much as be let Blond without his (pedal Licenie ; 'tis ( no doubt ) for fear lealt the Head fhoiild be (b concern'd in thefe his Special Members , as to Die with them by Sympathy : The Number of them at their firft Roman Cmfitution ( for want of a Divine Inftitution ) were, as is afordaid , Twenty Five , which Dr. Pctter worthily Obferves to be the exadl Root Number of Six Hunndfed Sixty Six , the Ndmher of tie Beajt ; bat rioWr they are Multiplied like a Numerous Spawn, into much more than Doubfe the Number ; that depends wholy and fblely at the Popes pleafure, who can Blov^ them out of lifs Mouth as many as he pleafeth;. he can Breath out a Cardinal with as much eaie, 3s he Breaths out the Holy Ghoft ; yea, fof Doing fome Notable Jobb in Hand, he ..can Breath out, or rather Spit out of his "Palat or Pallace, a matter of Sixteen Car dinals at one Spit, as this prefent Pope hath lately done; Oh what an Improving Leap & Advance hath he now made, whereas while Jie was but a Cardinal, he is then but a Cre ated Creature of the Pope, but now that he is become a God Almighty the Pope, he can be a Creator of his Creatures : Mcnflrum Horrendam, &ro Prodigious U'ere his Pri-
vriedges,
1 6 7 he Notorious Life
viledges, ( which not Cbrift, but AnticMf, beftowed upon him while a Cardinal,
As Firft, When ever he Rode abroad to take Frefh Air, His ( Sir ) Reverence was fb Glorified ( yet not fb much as Chnfl was at his Transfiguration ) with his Right Re verend Reel Hat, and Rich Robes, that the Splendor of Beth thefe DazePd all Spefta- .tors Eyes, yea, the very Blaft of his Body but paffing by, Blew oft all their Flats, and Bore Ib hard upon them, as to Blow them over, and made them fall down to Worfhip Him, and to ask of Him his Patriarchal BleiTmg , which Fie rarely beftowed with that Ingenuity, as He in the Story did, who in fb doing, laid, [ Si Populus Vult De- cipi, Decipiatur. ] Light cheap Words make Fools fain. No doubt but His Shadow, fas he is now Pope, and Peters Succefjor ) can cure as many Difeafes, as that of Peters did Pope Innocent the Fourth, Graced the Cardi* nals with a Red ( Fools Cap, or ) Hat, by his Ordinance in the Twelfth Century ; and in the Fourteenth, Pope Pius the Second Ad vanced their Splendor yet Higher, with molt- Stately Scarlet Gowns, ( Dr. Heylins .Cofmogr. pag. 108. at the bottom.) Thus were they Attired in fuch Antick, Gawdy and Pedamick Dreiles, as neither Chrljt nor his Ap$ht ever Strutted about in, which
wtlft
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 1 7
mu ft Declare to all the World, that this is t he' dntichrift, and none need lay of Him, as John Baptift laid often to Chrift, [ Art tbou He that froald come, or may we look for another ? 1 No, this is the Red Letter- Man, in his Red Hat and Scarlet Gown. This is the Eloudy and Scarlet Coloured Beaft.
The Second eminent priviledge this Car dinal was dignified with by his Creator the 'Pope, is, that whatever condemned Male factor ( juft going to the place of Execu tion) could but he Ib happy as to meet this Man in his Ponticalibus in the way of his Progrels, He was immediatly to be Acquit ted, and his Life Ipared, that He might evermore Admire and Adore this his Romtjh Saviour. JTis pitty his clemency is not more exercifed out of defign in this Life- Saving Work : Oh what a choice Act of Mercy might He fometimes do here in but
fjing the way at a right Juncture, betwixt Newgate and Tyburn, when his Pontifical •Prelence is bleft with fuch an excellent Ver- tue as both to fatufe the Nations Law, (which is mortally broken) and Save alfb the Life and Soul- of the condemned.
A Third Immunity He had alfo in that Cardinal Capacity , Was , that no Cardinal can be Condemned for the molt Capital Crime, except He can firft be? Convicted by
the
1 8 The Notorious Life
the Teftimony of Seventy Two Witnefles. By this means, a Cardinal may lafely ven ture to be the greateit, Villain in the World, not onely becaufe . the Canon-Law faith [jZcdefia fit liber a"] let Church-Men be free from fecular Cenfures, butalfb (though the "aforefaid may fail) if they do but obferve their own Jefuitical Rule [_Jinoncajie, ta- mm carte\ He may without hazard perpe trate Whoredom, Treafcn, the word of wick- ednefs, (6 lie do it with caution, and he deferves to be hang'd feventy two times over, that will aft his Villany in the pre- fence of feventy two peribns, that may all come in as joynt Witnelles againft Him : The Law of the true and onely wife God ( fupppfing the TeiHmony of two or tbr.ee W$*ejJ'es luffieient) is but comparatively an Infipid Sentence: b;vt the Law of their Lord God the Pope te far more profound , faying , two or three and twenty are not enough of Withefles , even againft the btferiottr Clergy. There muft (Guy they^ be twenty (even a- gainft a Deacon, fixty four againlta PrieB'v and feventy two. againft a B;/h0p-GW;W. Dianse compendium, pag. 8f. No wonder if the Romifh Clergy be the greateft Rogue?, and vileft Villains in the World : No won der if rhev carry fo deepr and fo Epidemick
a Tine-
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 1 o,
a Tindure as the only and unparallelM Tools to be employed by Befasbub , for urdering of Kmgst Blowing up of Parlia~ msi managing not only Privat and Perfo- nal Affafinations, but allb Publick and Na tional Maflacres, to Aftonifhment ; to (ay nothing of Burning down Cities and Mar ket-Towns, and many more MatchJeTs Mi£ thiefs, whereof how far this their Holy Fa ther ( both while Cardinal, and when Pope ) in Conjundion with his Unhdy Sons have been guilty, the Sequel will Demonftrate and that Ex <tbu»Aantl.
A Fourth Priviledg (or rather a Prero gative ) this Card'mal had, while fo, was, lhat whofoever would dare to Offend or Injure ( in any k'md ) his 7^rJ?wp or Cardl- vialfapj tliough the Offence were only an opprobrious Word, and though the Offen der were (b Lofty as a K/y^ or an Empsrcr ( who apprehend themfelves above the tomprehenlions of the Law ) yet the Po- pifli Canon-Law Runs thus (everely againfl them, £ L&fa MajeftatK Ret Stmt, cttjus cuntf, fmt OrJinis, Imo Imyerater ipfe, &C, Et In ptenas Bullte Cuen^e Imurrent. J Such Offenders agaiflft a Cardinal (yea though it be the E*tperar himfelf ) fhall be Judged Guilty of Higb-TreafoK, and (hall Incur the Pain1? atvl Penalties of Exccwwankation, De-
10 ' '"The Notorious Life
po/ition, &c. Was not this ia Lofty Beaft then ? Exalting himfelf above all that is call-
ed God> or Magtjkrates, even of the very higheit Form, 2 Thef. 4. 4. He might, w'ri:.? in that Capacity only, challenge the Stouteft King or Emperor, to affront his Cardinalfhip, while he flood thus ftrongly Guarded by his Canon-Law, to Batter them clown with its Horrible and Terrible Canon- Bullets ; nay, That Canon-Law did not only thus lecure his Perfon, but it aljtb ex tends to protect his very Hotife, and all ' his Hang-bys, or Menial Servants, to all his
.Creatures and Favourites in his Prefence ; ; even all thefe his Appertinances are trou bled with that Difeafe called \_ Noli me Tan-
. gere ] .They mult not ( forfooth ) be twcb- ed, though never 16 Criminal, 'tis an Af front of the higheft Nature, even High-
• Treafon it (elf, and therefore ( with my content ) fhould any of his Clerks be affli-
. cted with the Kings-Evil ( as they are over- i un with the Popes-Evil ) a Caveat mail be] Entred to Debar them of the Royal-Toucb\ 1'jalt by a Male-Improvement thereof, they turn their G*»0»-Mouth againft the King : How, neither the Cardinal, nor any of his Attendants ( every one bearing for his Mot to, the fame with the Bafe Thiftle, [ Ne m&\ me. Impuna lacej/it, ] none can touch mej
without!
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 2, L
Without Pricking their own Fingers ) ftand Fortified with the Grand Diabolo's, or Great Canons of that Canon-Law. See Diante Compendium j p#g-9$.
1 he fifth Prerogative this Cardinal had, above all Kings and . Emperors, is, Than whereas They, Poor Low Shrubs (incompa-- rifon of fuch a Tall Cedar as a Cardinal is ) muft humble themlelves to the very Fco: of the Pope, muft Honour the very Hia- dow of his Shoe-ftrings, or rather Adore the Sparkling Diamonds , wherewith the; Buckles of his Pantofle is moft Richly E« nambJed, and the Higheft Honour that thofe jfo»£.f and Emperours muft have vouch- fafed to them, ( a Glorious Vouchfofcmenc and Low Condefcention in his Unbolinefi indeed ) is only to Kits the Stinking. Toe of his Gowty Gulls : but when chis Cardinal came to pay his Vifits, and do his Homage, unto his Mighty God Pope Clement the Tenth, ( his immediate Predec'efibr ) he had the Honour ( without any profrrating poftux-e, fave only a flight Congee ) to Kik his Ho- linefies Hands, with a Mental RefSrvation too,. ( Right Romanift like ) wifhing him well in his Grave, that- he might ( upon fiicli an .Irrefiftible Refignation) yeild up his Pontifical Chair to him : Nay, the Royal of Kijjiflg the Popes Hand only,' D~ T, was-
12, Ibe Notorious Life
was not all the HonoiuHie had from him, but he is allowed to Kifs the Popes Jttonth' too. Lonnus the Jefuit, in Aff. 6. doth ac- knowledg this Ceremony <( as to matter of Fad: ) to be the Cardinals Prerogative above Kings and Entperottrs : If the Rifling of the Bifhop by the Prieft at his Ordination, do declare a Parity , as above : So this like- wife muft be an Indication, that a Cardinal is a Popes Fellow, yet Advanced above Kings and Emperotirs, ( contemptible Ti tles and Offices to his ) by this mutual Em- bracement. The Jjebrew Rabbins do Read thefe wordSj \_GnalPi Jehovah^ Dent. 34. 5". which w?e Tfanflate [ According to the Word of the Lord'} in this Senfe, That Mc- fes Died at the Mouth of Jehovah, ( which indeed the Hebrew Words' do Genuinely and Gramatically fighifie, ) . as if God had ta ken away Mofes his Soul out of his Body With a Kifs in a moft friendly manner .- could this Lord God the Pope ( Clement the Tenth ) have done fb to Cardinal Odefchal- cbo, when he Kifs'd him, it had been no bet ter tlian Qfculiirn Ifcarioticmn. rather a Trea cherous, than an Amicable Kifs, in fpoil- ing his Market, of deligning to become his Succeflbr upon the Pajxil Throne, and then had the World wanted him for Pope Innocent the EfevsntB, though both the Place and the
Tifte
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 13
Jitle might have been fupplied by fbme o- ther Perfon : Had this happen'd fb, That Pope might have cry'd Quits for his wifhing ( in his Mental Refervation afore mention ed ) the Pontifical Chair before the Time : what lofs this might have been to the Roman Church, I know not, but this I know upon more Infallible proofs than his own Infallibi lity, that had he Died at the Mouth of his Lortl God the Pope, when that Complemental Kifs pafs'd betwixt him and his Predeceflbr, he had undoubtedly pafs'd off the Stage with lefs Guilt, the Horrid Popifi Plot, the Mur der of Sir Edmondbury Godfrey, and a Thou- land more Diabolical Intriegues fince that, will lay with weight upon fome Bodies Confei- ence (boner or later. Veniet , Fernet, yd mal<* Judicata Rejudicahit Dies: There is a Day coming , which (hall Judg Righte- •| oufly all Matters over again, (though I at prefent they be Hufh'd wp in Judg- ! ment ) and this may be done even in this ' Worlcf.
I add to all the former the Sixth Privi- ledg, For (b many rnuft be the Number, that it may the better Symbolize , and carry a Correfpondency with the Number of the Eeafts Name, which confifts of Three Sixes, [666.] and therefore (everal Pope* bore the Number of Sixtut , and had I been D ? of
^.4 The Notorious Life
of the Conclave ( an' Honour I am no way Ambitious of ) I would have advifed trie Cabal, that this Pope Eleti ftiould have taken upon him no other Name, fave that former Name of Sixtus, and I would have prefs'd this Cogent Argument, That feeing there had been before, Sixtus the Firft, the Second, the Third, the Fourth, and the Fifth, now One that will be Stiled Sixtus the Sixth, not only makes the Odd Number Even, but alfo the very Name will carry along with it a moft' Grateful Sound and Symphony :' This only would have been the nrifchief thereof, that it might have Bordered a little too near the Number of the Name of the Apocalyptick Beaft, for this Name would have conlirted of Two Sixes, ( Sixtus the Sixth ) but that Name confifts of Three : notwithftanding . this little difference ( in an Unit) it might have Sounded fbme Alarm to the World : This fo much neceilary Sixth Priviledg which this Cardinal OcUfcbalcbo had, was, That his Cardinalihip did Conftitute him an Ecclefiaftick Prince, whereby he became a fit Mate and Side-Fellow ( (landing upon equal and even Ground ) with the molt Potent Secular Prince in Europe, and there- Tore to Comport with this Princely Great- nsfs, the Canon Law allows him a propor tionable
of this prefect Pope of Rome. i $
t ton able Grandeur, Sumptuous Furniture, and all manner of Pompous Splendor for Supporting the Honour of that Dignity, for to be one of the College of Cardinals is the Penultimate Promotion in the Roman Church, it being the very Higheft and, Uppermofc Step, from which one or other of thefe Crafty Climbers, Lands at laft into Deters Chair. And feeing Wealth is an In- difpenfible Perquifite, as it is commonly call'd the Sineivs of War, io 'tis no leis the Nurfe to Honour j yea, oft times more than Vertue, upon this account , Their Canon Law allows them moft Rich Revenues , moft Rapacious Offices and Employs , wherein ( as if they had got the Pbilofophers Stone ) they turn all they touch into Gold and Guineys : The Italian Author of the Juft weight of the Scarlet Gcwny gives a Candid and Ingenuous Account, ( keeping the Scales even ) of thole Crafty Intrigues, and manv Subtle Tricks, that thofe Arch- Polkicians do put in Praftice to Enrich themfelves, to fill their Cotters by Sale of Offices that are Vacant, by Penfions from the Court of Foreign Princes, ( botli France, Spain, and Germany } who all ftrive, not only to Counterbalance one another, buc alfo, by a pretty Greafc-Fifto, with Yellow Ointment to Tilt the Ballance, and Id fome- D 4 times
16 The Notorious Life
rimes Advance their own Faction upper- moft, through the prevailing Intereit of thofe their -cloiely obliged Creatures the Cardinals, who have fiich a mighty Influence upon all Debates and Refblves in that fragmatick and Superintendent Court , which Lords it, and Laws it, ( or at leaft would willingly do fo ) not only over Gods Herrttage the Church , but alfb over the whole Habitable World.
The Scarlet Gown Author, in his Epift. Dedic. fpeaks of the feveral Applications that are made to this Confiftory of Cardi nals, from all Popifh Yrinces and States, efpecially from the Two Mighty Kings of France and Spain , by their Amballaclors, whoever lay Ledger at that Court, and who always Addrefs themfelves to the moft Politick and Powerful of thefe Cardinals, driving to Outvie each other in their proffer of Fat Penllbns to them, giving them the bett Spiritual Dignities and Promotions thtir l\vo Kingdoms can afford them , C which in either of them are plentiful enough ) provided always, they will be engaged thereby to Efpoule ( as much .as ever they may ) the Interefts of their Be- nefadors Crown, to which they are thus obliged. Herein thefe Court-Penfioners do Try the Trick of a Treacherous Judasy
'
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 1 7
( who with his F JQuld Dabitis? ] What will ye give rrn ? and I ivill betray my Innocent Mafter, &c. ) rather than play the part of Faithful Peter, ( whole Sncceliors, though unlike him, lave only in Denying his Lord, they would be reputed ) in Defending his Innocent Matter from thole that Aiiaulted him : for notwithstanding never Ib ftrong Engagements and Adiiranpes ; Oh what a flippery Hold either or both thole great Princes have of thele their Cardinal En gines, who frequently ( and upon very flight occaiions _.) are found to warp into the contrary Faction, which Verifies the Vulgar Proverb, 57/> Hard to make a Fa ft Bargain with a Loofe Chapman : They how ever, in playing thus at Faft and Loofe can notably ferve their own Ends , and like Bac} Lawyers can take a Bribe upon both Sides, when they are Courted by both the Kings. Elpecially thole Cardinals that fit nearelt the Papal Chair, arid are in the fairelfc Capacity to Climb next into it, as was the Happy Cafe of this our Cardinal, and therefore muil be Highly Courted by j Foreign Age fits 4n the \rame of their Ma tters ; The Height of- whole Ambition it was to oblige him. Thus we lee this Bene detto O&fd'jicbo had fair opportunities for gaining Wealth enough. $o maintain bis
Grandeur
2.8 The Notorious Life
Grandeur, the Canon-Law doth Com mand thefe Cardinals, that, befides their Living upon the Churches Revenues, to catch what they can for themfelves, ( may we Add, 'Per Fas & Nefas , Vd Vi , Vd Clam , Vd Trecano, either by Hook or Crook, to wit, the Crofier Staff,) upon the Account of Aggrandizing the Roman Cler gy, which Poverty would render Contemp tible, Diantf Compendium, pag. 88.
How far this Cardinal comply'd ( as who of that Catholick Faith would not ) with that Canon-command , we fhall have an Account By and By : But before we can come to that, Here are Two mifchievous Stumbling- ftones lays in our Way like aCou- pje of Blockade's, which who ever were able to Roll away out of our Way, would do us a very great Kindneis ; when let faft.
The Fir/} is this, Suppofe this Cardinal had been a Monk, 'tis not to fuppofe what ought not to be fuppofed; for feme Ecne- dith (as his Fore-Name and fbme Popes Name were ) had been Bcnedittine Monks, and at their entrance into their Monafteries had fblemnly vowed perpetual Po<ve rty ; how could this Monkifh Man with a good Con- fcience Relinquifh his vowed Poverty ? Ga ther Riches (b fall that he got the Devil and qll, (as will appear afterwards ) became an
Ecclefi-
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 19
TLcdefiaftick Prince, Ride his Progrefs in all Prince-like Equipage, never proud Ilaman more Highly Honoured , and never any Triumphant C*f*r or Conquerour better' Arrayed than He in his Richeic Robes for Splendour and Glory .- Let any Man come. forth and tell me the Confiltency of thele two Contraries, & erit mihi magnus Apollo. He that can rightly Reconcile them, (hall be my Oracle.
Tufh ( faith the Romifh Cafuifts, one of the New .Quacks the Jefuits ) I can with a wet Finger make thefe two Contraries Jump friendly into one , two odds make even ( as Two odd Threes make even Six, flill he will harp upon the Number Six, as above ) and why may not two at odds meet in even alfo. This is the Learned Glofs of the Popifh Cafuifts upon this Cafe of Con- fcience in the General, but more particular ly f he faith) this Vow of Poverty was taken with a mental Reiervation, that he refolved to be poor,, no longer, than while he could not poffibly be Rich, and 16 the word [?#•- fettitQ in the Vcw muft be vox xqui'voca, and to be taken with equivocation, &c.
Such Dirt-Dawbers (that Dawk with un- temfer^ Morter) are the Jefuitical Cafoifts, yea, many Mor.ks can play the pranks of a Monkey (there is not much difference be twixt
Y~> "The Notorious Life
twixt their Names ) who can. flip his Col lar on for his Makers Pleafure, and with as much eafe, can ilip it olf again fir hts own, The Monk can play at fait and loofe with his ftrift Vow as well as the Monkey with his flrait -dollar. But above all Caliiifts that fpealc home to this Cafe, hear what an In fallible Pope ($4JM in Cathcdr* r\on poteft er- vare) and that Innocent the i otb, ( one of the laft before this ) fpeaketh ; He furely, ean- not fpeak but like a moft profound Oracle : I have heard fbme judicious Clients fay, when I want Councel, I will go to the Head, and not to the Tail, meaning, to the pro- foundeit Councellors at Law, and not to the mean, pittiftil, underling Lawyers : let us do ft> here, omitting all other Icribling puny Cafuilts in Popiflj Schools , and hear what this great Oracle faith out of Peters •unerring Chair : This 1}ope Innocent the Tenth, when he was but Cardinal Tawphilio, made a promiie in the Conclave to Marry his onely Nephew into the Family of the Bar- berinos ( one of the three grand pontifical Factions, Paulino and Pamphilian being the other two, in that Sacred Colledge or'Con- llftoryj the fame Fromiie he privarly made to his Nephew allb; howbeit, he fbon chang'd his mind ( being then not in the hair and fo, nor Infallible) and pro-
of this prefect Tope of Rome. 3 1
moted Him to a Scarlet Goivn (inftead of a Wife,), which was far better, and which ( he thought ) would beft prevent divers Emergent Ditferencies that were likely to arife by Marrying one of the Pampbilian Family to a Wife of the Barberinos , a con trary Faction, which yet had been whead- led into a Beleif of this great Match for their She-Cozen, beca'ufe it was 16 folemn- ly and pnblickly promifed by the Cardinal (the tinkle of the Gentleman, or in plain er Terms , the -Father of the Baftard ) in their Sacred Colledge of Cardinals, where there was a dead weight of Living Witneiles thereof. Notwithftariding this Promise , -a Sacred thing in it felf, made in a Sacred place, and before fo many faered Perfbns (according to Popifh Sentiments) he made a fhift to cozen both them and their S/je-Cc- zen : whereupon, not long after His Af- fumption linto the Papal Chair (no doubt but his 'Nephew in his new Scarlet Gown, gave his Uncle an heaty lift thither J Cardi nal Antonio Barberinost having ftill the grum bling of his Gizzard for the late cheating affront, makes his Addrefs to his New-Gre- ated and Now-Crowned Holmefs fexped- ing nothing but what was Holy Redreires fuitable to his new Title, to fweeten unto all his new Crown and Dignity) He' therefore
brake
3 a The Notorious Life
bnke out into thofe words to this new Pope Innccent the i Qtb. (into which he had chan ged his Name Pamvhylio} laying, Maft Blef- fed bather •> your 7ran(affions about your Ne- ^heiv (in Marrying him to a Scarlet Gown, and not to cur Ccz>en) doth n~: well correspond with your promijes made to us in the Conclave, when you was but Cardinal : Hereupon his new Un-Holi»efs (with a great deal of Gra vity, as became his Place} as Un-Holily An- (wered, thus fay ing, Tell me my Lord, who was He, that made Jttch promifes to you P W 'as it not Cardinal Pamphilio ? Yes, faith Anto nio, upon which the Pope turns fliort upon him, and bids him go challeng his Promife of Pampkilio , for he was not the Man of that Name now, His Name was Innocent the Tenth, and not that Man you Imagine me to be : At this, Antonio Raged, and like a new M&ngi Bella, Fire ftarted out of his Eyes, and like Old Orlando, ftamps with his Feet upon the Ground, when he heard the Infallible Chair (peak more Fallibly and j Fallacioufly, than ever the Devil did at his Delphos-Oracle : In this Tranfport his , Voice alfb Vomited out ibme levere Inve- dives againft his Lord God the Pope, and in an High Diiguft, Uncivilly turns his Tail upon his Blafphemed , as well as Dial- . pheming Idol , Excommunicates himfelf
from-
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 3 3
from the Sacred Conff/tory, and from the Metropolitan City of Rome (the very place of his own Nativity ) flies into France to be Protected by the French King, at whofe Devotion he had all along been in the Fa ction, leaving all his Riches ( he had Vaftly (craped together ) and Revenues behind him : See the Subftance of this whole Sto ry in the Author of the Jujt Weight of the Scarlet Gown, his own Preface to his Book ; who tells us- likewife, fag. 68. That this Bon Antonio Barberino ( who thus Dif-refent- ed this profound, more than Jefuitical, the Diabolical Salvo of his Holy Father ) was none of the Belt, who kept for his Mifs or Whore, La Checa Bufona, upon whom he waited molt Vaft Sums of Money, &c. fag. 69.
Mark here, This Papal Qiftin&ion with out a Difference ( to wit, it was not Inno cent the Pope, but Pampbilio the Cardinal, that made the Promile, and therefore not at all obliging , &c. ) is the Beft Bramble- Bum, that the Infallible Chair it felf can find out, wherewith to Itop the Gap in a Romifo Conference ; and if this will ferve as a fufficient Salvo for the Supreme Pope himfelf, much more for his Underling, a Cardinal ; and 16 our Odefchalcho is brought off with flying Colours ; It was not
34 The .Notorious Life
cbalcho the Cardinal that Vowed perpetual <verty, it was only OJcQk&fo the that did fb, I arti not He that made that . Vow, 'tis not obliging to me, as a Cardinal, but leait of all, as now I am Pope.
Such ilippery Tricks of the Monkey, we find the Jefuits can play , as well as the Monks ; for Cafi'fntr the Jtfuit Could (;by his Fervent Prayers to his Founder Ignatius Loyola ) obtain an elfecliial Diipenlation for his Acquitment from his Holy Orders to Em brace a Crown, the Jewels whereof had a ctovereign Vertue to Salve all Wounds of Conicience, and to give him a Quietus Eft : Hereupon he became the King of Poland : but while I think of it, Take this pleafant Story, I have fometimes Read with com placency, 'tis this, The Bimop of Triers (I. think, but am fare it was ope of thole Bi- ihops that are the -Electoral Princes of the Emperour of Germany ) was found fault with for -feme Notorious Extravagances in hisPublick Miniftration?, by a very S&wtor, Who told him, Such Grofs Actings were a Scandal to his Lawn Sleeves and Mitre ; all the Apology that Proud Prelate could make for himlelf, was this, He An- •fwered, That he'did not thole things as he was a Bifocp, but as he was a Prince : But Replies in a cutting Reprimend,
faying,]
tf fbis prefent Pope of Rome, y
faying, If the Devil git the Prince for fuck rimes, I pray yottj what will become of the Bifiop. This Non-pins did not admit of a ilejoinder ; and is there not par Ratio in :>oth thefe Cafes of Conference aforemen tioned , If the Devil get Pantphilio the Car dinal for breaking his Promife, ( contrary to Pfal. i f . ) what will become of Jnnocem the Pope ; .it may be, he hath got them Both together at one Mouthftil ( being but one Individual Man ) already, feeing Pope la* wcent the Tenth, who Was before, Cardinal Pantpbilto, is now Trip'd off the Stage, and our Qdefchakho is got into the Chair in his Room : So likewife, If the Devil get the Monk for breaking his Vow of perpetual Pe-
rty, what will become of the Rich Cardi- •nal, fure I am, Though the Devil hath not already made one Mouthful of them both., yet, the Pope ( the Devils Eldeft Son ) hath done it, for both Qdefchalcbo the Monk ( as fbme fay ) and Qdefchalcho the Cardinal are at once Swallowed up by this prefent Pope, Innocent the Eleventh.
The Upfhot of the whole in a word is this, I Refer to the Judicious Reader, whe* ther this Grave Senator, or the Jefirits ( Azoriuf, Navar, &C. ) yea the Infallible Chair it felf, be the better Cafuift ; and Whe ther Dm Antonio Barberind, the Crook-Back E
} 6 The Notorious Life
Nephew to Pope Urban the Eighth, were not. a Str (lighter Man of the Two, that-'Ab- hord thofe wicked Evafibns of Pope Inno cent the Tenth, as above.
But having well wearied both my Setf a-nci my Reader, with lifting at this great Stone that lay in our Way, and yet cannot get it Removed out of the Way h&lf * fo well-as was ^wtf/tf'sStab'dBody, that ftop'd the March of the Army, 2 Sam. 20. 12. 'Tis high time to leave it , and to try our Strength in a Lift or Two at the Second, which in like manner obftrufts our pallage, HI giving a particular Character of this pre fect Pope.
The Second Objection is, Whether thefe pretended Governors of die Church, the Popifh Prtlaies and Cardinals, abounding in all manner of Pride, Pcmy and Luxury, can by any Ibber Mind be Deemed the Rightful Succelibrs of Chrift and -liis slpoftles, who nil did fb oft Recommend Self-Dexyal and Humility, &C.
To this, in ihort, I mall AnRver, with a •Sibry that 1 have Read many Years ago, •and \vhich 1 have lately met with in the Hi- ll-ory cf Cjri!hi<:!s, pag. 46. The Author of 'I\ipotifwo dl Roma, ( wherein he fhews ho\v ^'edu'oiis every Pope is to promote his Ne- phcu? or Baitards) Relates the Matter of
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 3 7
Pact thus, being both an Eye and an Ear' Witnefs thereof in Perfbn himfelf, laying, I Remember a certain Sermon I heard in a Covent in Rome , and in the prefence of Two Cardinals, ( it may be our Odefcbalchv was one of them ) and Cardinal Saccbettt was the other ; The Preacher was a Bare Footed Francifcan, who feem'd a poor pitiful Creature to look upon, yet geting into the Pulpit ( on the firft Sunday in Lent ) in a" :very great Auditory, after an Ave-Mana, land Two or Thfee Ciringes (asisufualj with his Knee, rifing up again upon his' Feef, and pulling his Cappuce or Cowle upon his Head, down almolt over his Eyes, he paufed a while ( in this poftnre)' with out fpeaking a word, and fixing his Eyes Iftedfaltly upon the Cardinals that ftood be- jlbre him, without Naming any Text at all, lie breaks out abruptly into theie words/ •ct. Peter was a Fool, 6't. 'Paul was a Fool, till the Apoftlcs were Fools, all the Holy Mar- \)rs, all the Primitive Saints &f the Church of \fefns Cbrift cur Redeemer, were Fools. J
The Cardinals, were Ih'angely Stun'd with jhefe words, and flood as Infeiifible as Two [tames, the People alfb, and I among the (eft, Admiring this unuftial Freak, were lonccnr enough to Attend the Attendency
f- If it ; The
after foffle fiiiair filenci: >• (
}S 7 'he Not or I oiu Life
( which he purpofely did, to oblerve the Refentments of his Auditory ) began his Difcoiirfe as followeth, [ You that tire Pre lates, do not you believe, you frail be Saved! I know your Anfwer, Tes , Father Fryar, we do. And you People, you are certain of Pa- radtfe ? without Doubt, you will fay, Tes too. Tes, faith the Fryar, What, will Turning Night into Day, by Feafting, Sporting and Luxury ? Will Frequenting Play-Houfes, Whore-Houfes, and a Living in all manner of Debauchery , bring you [_ People ] to Heaven ?
As for you [ Prelates, ] Will your WTear- ing Purple aad Scarlet, Will your Glittering in Gold and Silver, Will your Riding a- broad, and Carreeceing about in Gawdy Coaches, and when you come out of them, Will the having your Silken Trains carry'd after you in the Street, bring you to Hea ven ? Will your Spoiling the Walls of the Church, to Adorn the Walls of your Cham bers, and will your Subtrafting from Cbrijl, to beftow upon the World, bring you thi- thither ? Would you Oh Rvmtpiff, be Saved in this manner ? Is this the way to Salvation ? which we are told is not a BroaJ but a Narrow Way.
Then certainly ail the Afofhs , and all the Saints of the Primitive Cbufcb might
have
40 Tl:e Notorious Life
Colour in .both their Complexions , and-, when fome Cardinals blamed him for putting an Abufe upon their holy Predecellburs (to Limn them more like Good Fellows, who had been taking a Cup of Nims, a little too much of the comforting Creature ) He Smartly yet Modeftly Anfwered, No, Gen tlemen, you miftake my Genuine meaning, for there you may behold thofe two Holy 'Afoftles no other than Blueing at you their filch Unholy Succeffours.
I mail conclude this Paragraph with that ftrange Prayer of a Trot eft ant Divine upon his Reading a Gaz,et, who there found, how in rhe Vacancy of the Roman See, fome Cardinals were confulting, that the next jPope when Created, mould be bound to difcard his Nephews, thofe Stickers of the Churches Treafure. He Zealoufly Ejaculated this mor, but pithy, Petition, faying, [God Almighty Remove the/e good Thoughts out of the Minds ofthefe Cardinals, for the Scandal pf their Church , are the F^dific alien of curs, and Difturhances amongfr them, gives a Sweet Repofe to US : Hiftory of 'Cardinal /, pag. 132.
Suitable to that before, is this, that which followeth after. Another Divine Difcourfing with Cardinal- Odefchalcho's Chaplain, and asking him what he was., he Anfwered, I]
of this prefent Pope- of Rome. 4 1
a Priejt, and pray you, laith the Mirii- fter, what is your Mailer whom you Serve, Oh Sir (quoth he) 'tis my Lord Cardinal'. Go to then, laid the Enquirer, pray what is your Work ? Oh Sir ( faith he ) I Say Service in my Lords Chap pel ; Say Service, (iaith the other ) then you are not 16 good as an Horfe or an A$e, for both thele dumb Creatures dse Service, and doing Service is better than Saying Service : but the Dilcourfe ended not here, the Opponent, a little too Pragmatical., mtift. ask lome more Qtiefti- ons, being too much Queftion-fick, fur ther, faying, I pray you Sir, who gave to you the Name of 'Prieft, and to your Ma iler the Name of Lord Cardinal, feeing St. "Paul Names no fuch Offices among the Officers of the True Church ? Ephef. 4. 1 1 . The Refpondent Reply s, Oh Sir, Our Holy Muthzr the Church gave to me the Name of Trieft, and to my Matter the Name of Car- dmal. Upon this, the ^uefiionift makes this brisk Repartee, laying , f God Almighty Blelsme with my Fathers Name, for all that Bear only their Mothers Name, ( as you fay, Ton and your Lord do ) be no better than Baftards, or if you will have it in a cleaner Drefs, that is to lay,- the Popes Ne phews : But enougiv of this Facetious Dif-
courfe.
41 The Notorious Life
Now 'tis High time to take a more par ticular View of our oJefchalcho, whom we have Characterized but little as a Cardinal hitherto, feeing our main <Def5gn is, to give him a more Ample Character as Pope , where the Myftery of Iniquity mult be more fully opened in a large Field of Dil- courie.
As John the Divine gives a Graphical Defcription of the Picture of his Double Bcaft in general ; how He gradually Rofe, both out of the Earth, and out of the Sea, Revel. 13.1,11. So my prefent Task is to Limn to the Life the very Perfon of this prefent Scarlet Colour A Beaft, the pope in par ticular, (hewing, Firft, How he rofe up Step by Step to the Pontifical Chair, into which this our Cardinal Oilefcbakho was Ufher'd with abundance of Pompous and Solemn Ceremonies : 'Tis indeed an nfual •Saying, That Ctremonies are but Indifferent things ; yet this is a moft certain and Try- ed Truth, ( to the great Detriment of ma ny, much Damnified hereby ) that though Ctrewwtes be in truth but things Iridifftrent to Salvation , yet Experience ( the belt .School-Miitrefs ) Teacheth, they are things Necejfary to Preferment. None can Climb up ( not Jacob's, but) Jlnticbrifis Ladder, li\Qftich as have the C/;f^r//Confcience of
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 43
a Latitudintirian, who can ft retch our and Gape wide as the Greedy-gut once J: j, (in his Eating a Fifh Dinner ) who fv; al lowed down Bones and all, till he had like to have been Choaked : We muft fuppofe our oJefcbalcbo had a Throat wide enough, he was not at all (b Scrupulous as the precife Ones among us, but could Gulp down any Romifo Ceremony (though never lb Corrupt and Unfcriptural ) provided it might but give him an Hearty Lift into the Seat of In fallibility : 'Tis as much beyond Queition- ing, as the molt Received Maxim in Phylo- lophy, That fuch as are molt Defe&ive in their Morals, are molt Zealous to fupply it with abundance of Ceremonials : How far this our Odefcbalcfo was Defcient in Mora lity, let the Author of the Scarlet Gown ( his own Countrey-man, the Italian ) be heard to (peak , His Relation Runs thus,, Benedetto Odefcbalcbo was a very Rich Pre late, who a long time Courted Den Rarbe- rino for preferring him to be Clerk of the Chamber, which place he was Ambitious of, ( that he might be the better Acquainted with all the Grand Intrigues of the Confi- ftoiy ) and which the Don had promiled him upon his paying down upon the Nail a Round Sum of Money for it : But find ing that his Purchafe proved nothing, lave
only
44 ?h* Notorious Life
only a company of Court Complements, and that this Crooked-back Don Antonio dealt but Crookedly with him, in making the Fool fain with Fair Words without Deeds, he ( being weary'd with a little fprinkling of Court Holy Water only, ) began to think of the Proverb too late, That a Fool and his Money is focn farted : He hereupon Re- fblves to take new Meafures, and to try whether ( a gain ft , and to Confute all Grawer Rules, ) the Feminine Gender might not prove more Worthy than the JMafctiline, and whether the Gray-Mare might not prove the better Horfe ; - fo makes he his Appljca- tion to that Famous Strumpet, that Impe rious Je^abel, Sifter in Law? d^c. to Pope Innocent the Tenth, Den Olymfia, wherein 'tis Remarkable, that he deals in both with the Dons, and with the Greateft" Dons too, the one an Ambitious, and ( as to the Court Faction in Rome )' a very Potent Cardinal ; but the other ( when he fhifts his Sails unto. and makes his Second (hift ) was no lefs than an Omnipotent Creatrefs ; for fhe could Create what Cardinals and what Pepes fhe pleafed, with her Irrefiftible Charms ; No wonder then, if, when at a lofs, he falls upon this new Expedient, and Turns Den Antonio into Don Olympia , yea Turns from the former to the latter , as being better
furnifhed
Et Jt qua latent, Mdiora ?;itat, Ovid.
Was not this a Brisk Madam , and well worth a Prelate, yea a Cardinals Court ing : The Subirance of this Account , ( though here drefs'd up in other Lan guage ) may be feen in the Scarlet Gcu'n Author, pag. 21. who fays further, That tliis Benedetto Prefented this Lady with Rich Love-Tokens, wherewith at length he Got
into Her Favor : But above all ( faith
the faid Italian ) with One Amourous Bribe more than Ordinary, and molt to be Re marked ; which matter ( as that Author Relates it ) was manag'd after this manner, Our Qdefchalcho, going one Day fas he did often ) to pay his Relpects to this his Lady Don 0/p?p/£, about die Coronation of her Brother in Law Tope Innocent the Tenth, a Goldfmith came at that very time , and fhewed Her a very fair Cupboard of Rich and Modifli Plate to Sell , and perhaps prompting the Lady to Buy it, as con ducing
^ 6 The Notorious Life
ducing much to the Grace and Honour of that Great Days Solemnity : Qlympia Vieweth it thorough and thorough in the pretence of this Qdefchakbo ( Her Para mour ) and other Lords, and no doubt had more than a Months Mind to it, but how to compafs it without her own Coft and Coin, was her prefent Projeft, in or der to this, She firft highly commends eve ry Vefiel by it felf, both Mettal, Workman- fhip and Luftre, and then all in the whole, faying, It was a goodly and curious Cup board of the New Fafliion'd Plate, but (he xvas a Poor Widow ( (he mould have faid, a Rich Harlot ) fb pretending fhe was not able to Purchafe it ; laftly, upon this (he withdraws immediately to her Chamber, leaving the By-ftander OJefihalcko ( who admired all for her fake ) to make out fome better proof (than yet he had done in all his former Gifts ) of his Cordial Alfedions to Her. This Prelate , being but ( as the fame Author calls him ) a Man of mean Undemanding, was the more eafily Infnared with the wily Wit of a Woman, which, at a pinch , doth ulually exceed that of a Man ( who Requires more Deliberation ) even of fiich as have deeper Reaches and Capacities than our fhallow Odefchalcho : Hereupon, under this fuddain Surprize, he
calls
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 47
calls the Goldfmith to him, Asks the Price of the Plate, 'twas below his Honour in his Amorous Expectations to bid him lower than was Asked, he paid down Eight Thou- fand Crowns for it, and without more Adoe, lent it in to the Lady , as a Prefent from Him, to her in her Chamber, that this Gift ( as Sohm&n faith ) might make Room for himfelf thither alfo : Don Olympia was fb Tranfported (both with the Succefs of her Craft, and with the Pofleflion of fb much Plate, all coiling her Nothing, fave only Carting a Figure about a Credulous Fool, ) that Immediately (he went to the Pope where flie was Domina, Fe,c totum, and whe ther fhe had free Accefs Night and Day, See Scarlet Gown, pag. Si. at the bottom, ) Begs of him for OJffcotldb, not only the Clerkfliip in the Chamber, but fbon after a Scarlet Goivn alfb . How far this She-Don Help'd him with her Hand ( if not in Per- fbn, yet by Proxy ) into Peters Chair, I know not, 'tis enough to know here that QJefcbalcbtfs Familiar Converfe with this Famous Woman , but Infamous Whore , gives Ground enough to beleive, that He was Defective in Morals, and therefore was under a Neceflity to Eeek that out with Ce remonials : No wonder then, if fuch a Man of Immorality (hotild become fas it were ) a
very
'48 The Notorious Life
very Compound of Ceremony : His Election to the Chair confifted of Ceremony ; his Coro nation in the Chair confifted of Ceremony ; but above all, his whole Worfhip and De votion in the matters of Religion confifteth of Ceremony ; only a Word or Two as a By-, blow upon this laft , it being befide the Scope of our prefent Defign. This prefent Popes Worfhip is drawn forth in fuch an 4ntick and PedanttckDrefs, fb far from the Simplicity of the Gofpel, that no thinking Mind can look upon Popery to beany better than Foppery,, Hire I am, the 'Rom'ijli Church is far pair, her Meridian , feeing fhe can fcarce be now feen for the length of her own Shadow, tiS&^batloQVs of her Evening are ftretched out, in turning Doctrine into Sopbifiry, and Dijdpline into Ceremony, and' though the I-Jed% of her Ceremonies may fa vourably protett Carricn-Cr ows , yet is it pricking and Vexatious enough to harmless Doves.
But to Wave that in this place, and' come to that Compound of Ceremonies, manag'd by a Maffer of Ceremonies, at the Eleftion of this prefent Tcpe : No fooner was his Pred'eceiibr, Peps Clement the Tenth Dead, ( for though the' Keys of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, hang at the Popes Girdle, yet there's the Mifchief. the Key of the Grave'
Was
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 49
was by fome Mifhap or other drop'd from it, otherwise the Pope had been equally as Immortal as Infallible, ) but the Congregati on of Cardinals Y having Nine Mornings after bis Death Sung Dirges for the Repofe of his Soul, and preparing themlelves with rioly Water, Incenfe, &c. ) did all Repair to the Conclave, and with them Two Ma ters of Ceremonies, and the Secratary of the College, &c. . were all clofe ftuit up to gether , in order to Eleft a New Pope : Then Proceflions came Thick and Three fold from all Churches and Monafteries , Singing, [ Vtnl Creator , &c. Come Holy Ghoft, &c. ~] Round about the Conliftory,' Imploring the Inipirations of the Spirit to come upon the Cardinals : The n'rft Step or Ceremony, was, The Three chief Cardi nals of the feveral Orders, with the Cardi nal-Chamberlain, took an Exacft Survey of all the parts of the Conclave to fee that all be clo(e, and fhut up on all fides, as if they would (hut out the 'Holy Ghoit from coming among them ; for upon the Death of Pope Clement the Fourth, when the Con- Clave could not agree ( being divided and Rent in pieces by the Feuds and Factions of the French and Spanijb Intereft ) about, the Election of a Succellbr, one of the Cardi nals ( perhaps fuppoiing that they were
'.' too
50 The Notorious Life
too dole (hut up in the Conclave, ) Cryed, Ton muft Order the Uncovering of the Roof of the Canfiftory, to make way for the Hdy (jh;ft to come down upon us : The Conclave puts lo much ftrels upon this feme Ctrewonj, that not ftriftly to oblerve it, is a Nullity of the Election.
The Secmd Ceremony at the Election of this Pope, was, The Matter of the Cere monies, ( after a Recital of the Cardi nals Priviledges, which each Swore to Ob- ferve, in cafe he were cholen Pope, ) Rings a Bell and calls them all to Mais, at which they Sang the Hymn, [ Veni Creator Spiri- tus, ] and the Prayer of the Holy Ghoft, to Implore His Illumination upon them : But I am afraid they could not find one Promife to ground their Trayer upon, for the promile of the Spirits coming is only to thole that Seek him in Spirit and in Truth, and that are found in Due Order, and not in fuch Dilorders as Ufually attend the Con clave, which once gave occalion to an Old Cardinal of Sicily, (who, after long Ab- fence , coming to a Popes Eledion , and finding nothing but Animofides, Factions and Fractions among them, ) to complain, faying, Ntttn ad Hunc Aiodum frmt fonti/ices Ronumi? &c I ex peeled that fervent as in Times of Old, mould have procured
of this prefent Pope of Rome.
procured fome fit Man to be pointed by the Holy Ghoft to us for a Vicar r/~ Cbrift, but ( faith he ) If promifmg Re- xvards for Penfionary Votes3 If Cajoling* Curfing and Threatning Revenge b ? your tvay of Canvafing your Elections , then farwel for me, and fo the good old Man Returned Home to his Countrey , and could never be perfwaded to fee Rome any more.
The Third Ceremony., was, To Elect a Pope by Scrutiny, ( waving the Two other ways of Infpiration or Comyromife, ) which they thus managed, Each Cardinal hath a Lift of all the Cardinals Names given to him, he Wrote down in a peice of Paper, whom he would have cholen, went to the Altar, puts his Scroll into the Golden Cha lice (landing thereupon, and fb Return'd to his place, when all had fb done, the Prime Bijhop took out all the Papers, delivered rhem to the Prime Deacon, who unfolded them all, and without mentioning the Ele- ttor. Read aloud the Names of the ULlefted : The Prime Yriejt Reckoning the Voices , Pronounced the Majority of Votes to fall .ipon Cardinal OJefcbalcbo : Hereupon he ilang a 5ilver Bell, and a Pan of Coals was brought in, and all the Pa per Billets, where- n the Names of all the Cardinals were Written, were Burnt. F Coed
5 1 The Notorious Life
Coed God, How far the Ancient Chureh of Rome is now Run from the Primitive Pattern ? How far is that Church at this Day Run a Whoring •? more like Eabylons Whore, than Sions Spovfe, who both Ask'd and Received Directions from the Blelled Bridegroom ,• how (he might follow the Footfteps ofChrifts ( not ^ntiehrifts) Flock: I would gladly Ask of any Man, how ma ny of tfaefe ( and many more, for Brevity, omitted ) filly Afifi as well as Poptfl) Tricks and Trinkets f were put into pradice at the Election of St. Matthias into Traiterous JH- tlas's tiijboprick and dpojMeflrip, Aft. I. 20. to x6. The pure Simplicity of that Primitive Ordination makes OUF Pope Innocent the Eleventh look more like an Unholy Jtpoftate, than any Holy ^pofrle, whole SitcceJJor he yet prei times to be Reckoned, who in Truth is rather a Sueceffor of Judas in betraying Cbrijt, as he is the Anuchri(ty than any of the Holy ^pojfles, who were fervent foltow- ers of the Sacred Footfteps of their Sweet Saviour, and who Commands us to follow them no 'farther , than t/xy follow Carijfi i Cor. ii. i. 1'hey make that Holy Child Je fits the Regula Regnlans, or Rule Ruling, and themfefves only the Regula Regulate, fhe Rule Ruled, they wonld not have us to ibllow the Dark Side ©f the cloud of Wit-'
neflesy
of tits prefect Pope of Rome. 5* j
nefies, as the ^gyftians did , and were Drowned, but the" White-fide thereof, aS the Israelites did, and were .Saved. Nei ther do we ever lind that St. Peter pafs'd under thofe Corhick and Theatrical Cere monies when called to his Apoftlefhip, or ever fb Prefer'd or EnrichM any of his Ne- f Ire-Ms or Baftardsi as the Peps ( his pre tended Succ;eifor ) doth now.
The Fourth Ceremony Wherewith this pre- fent Pope had his Pompous Inauguration at his Election, was, Still more like Apojtati- cal, than Jpo/lolicalj to wit, No (boner was* the Majority of Votes ( even Two parts of Three ) acknowledged to fall upon our Cardinal Odefcbahho, through the Almighty Influence of his Old Grateful as well as Humble Servant, Don Olym^ia, who could riot, with either tionour or Advantage, fb fbon forget her Stately Cupboard of curi ous Silver Plate, well knowing, her lafting Gratitude to Him would be a"n Encourage^ ment to others in that Court, to make their Addrefles in the lame manner to Her. No fooner ( I fay ) was this Odefchalcho owned to be the Peps Elctt Dtiely, though never id Fattioufly and Surreptittoufly ; but pre- frritly the Wicket, or rather Wicked Hole ( wellcaird the Goltlen Door, through which the Hungry Cardinals Receive all their F 2
54 Ihe Notorious Life
Meat, as well as ^/r,' during their, fome- times, long Confinement,) was then bro ken open, at which ftood an Infinite Num ber of. Poor People, on .whom this New Pope bellowed his Papal Benediftion, and to whom He Remitted all. their Sins . The Formality of opening this Gclden Door, was thus Oblerved, This New Pope came with a Gclden Mallet in his Hand ( all He med dles now with mtift be Gold, J His Silver Are is now turned into a Golden One, his Silver Cupboard of Plate before purchaled, is now turned into a Golden Door, and into a Golden Mallet, yea, better than all this. Here was, by Vertue of: the Philofophers Stone, a Silver, or rather a Leaden, or Cop per Cardinal ( as Odefckalcho fignifies ) into a more Illuftrious and Golden Pope. With this Golden Mallet he ftrikcs at the Goldtn Door, which while He was in Doing, there were Workmen Ordered without to Break it open, which done, all the Chips, Stones, Duft and Dirt , ( that fell from this Golden Gate, while it was in opening, ) are gather ed up, and preferved as the choiceft and moft Inestimable Relicks ; and as to the Golden Mallet which this New Pope held in his Hand, He Nobly gave to Cardinal Sfor- Ka (according to Cnltom ) who was his great Crony and Correspondent, ofteneft
in
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 5" 5
in his Company, and efpecially in moft Grace and Favour with him, for Lending him fuch an effectual Lift into Peters Chair '. Now let any Man of a Sober Mind Judg, what kind of Succefibr this prefent _Pope is to Poor Peter in his Chair ; the Apoffle Peter faith of himfelf, [ Silver and Gold have I none,'] Act. 3. 6. But this Pope ( his pre tended Succefibr ) hath Silver for himfelf, and for his Olympia too, yea, and a Golden Mallet to give away, &c. Simon Peter Re jected Simon Magus, when he would have Hired of him the Gift of Miracles, Afts 8. 19, 20, 23. whereas this Pope will do no thing without Ready Money. St. Peter paid his Tribute to Temporal Princes, even at his Lord Chrifts Command, both for himfelf and for his Mafter, Manh. 17. 24. to the laft ; But this Pope ( being Antichrijt ) Scorns any fuch Difgraceful Motion, No, 'tis below his Unholy Highnefs to pay One Penny; he Received not deters Patrimony upon any fuch Ignoble Terms .- The Law of the Land, faith, That a Mam Heir is Ob liged to pay the Debts, and to perform the Du nes of the Inheritance, otherwife the Heir is Difmherited, and^he Inheritance Divided among the Creditors : But the Popes Ca non-Law faith , Peters Keys of Authority, with all the Profits and Emoluments, belong F to
f 6 The Notoricus Life
to the Tope , who holds them faft in his Hand ; but as to his Key of Doctrine, where in He Taught Univeriai Subjection to Secu lar Governpurs, is a Duty no way Incum- 1 ent upon Htm; thele are great Incurs I ranees to Popes, and would be unfuppoiv table Burdens to our Sacred Inheritance : let in this the Pope likes well enough to Imitate his Predecelior Peter in, He dearly loves to Catch with his Angling Rod fiich Fifties in his Sea or See, as have a peice of Silver in their Mouths, Matth.l'j. 2J. and it will do no Harm,if now and then a peice of Gold be found there alib , for then will he he furnifh'd with Materials,not only fora Silver Cupboard of Plate, but likewife for making his Golden Doors, and his Golden Mallets.
Tl e Fifth Ceremony mould have been, When the Goldtn Door was opened , He ihould have proceeded tq the Ycrfiiry Chair, the Chair of EyplGrpttGn, where the Youngeit Cardinal-Deacon ihould have Ex amine d Things and ihings. l;ut this Cu- itomary Ceremony is now a Days Anti- q inted as Superfluous and Unneceliary, iince commonly thole Popes that have been lately Elected, had given iiilricient procf by their Baftards of theif Virility, and thi;t rliey were known beforehand to be of the Ki£l:t Ma' culm Gencttr , and indeed 1 tliiiik
it
of this prefent Tope of Rome. 5 7
lt need not be much Doubted, -but rather than fail, rather than this Pope mould have this trouble given him, Don Olympia her (elf might have come in with her 1 eltimo- ny, and have allured them Viva, Vcce, they might undoubtedly (pare the Labor of Ex ploration, for (he hath had fbme Experi mental Knowledg ( which is the Beft ) of -his Manhood and Gallantry. And now , when I think of it, I cannot but Imagine this Groping Chair a very ill advifed Injun ction , however upon this Account , That whereas the Rowanifts do ufually Stile their Head, The Lord God their Pope, now if as they fay, He be indeed a God, they do but Debafe him ( if not Ungod him ) in Trying whether be be a Man : Methinks the Words of Chri/t, with but a little Vari ation, might ferve the pretended Vicar of Cbnft : as the Lord did Evidence the Truth of his Reliirredion, by faying, [ If I be a Spirit, Iflwttld not have Flefh and Bc»es,~] Luke 24. 3 9. So this Vicar might give a Repulfe to Iris Gropers,by laying,f If I he a GodJ flwuldnot hweAfanly Members.] [here is only this Ditfe- rince,ChHft was willing to beHandled,but his Vicar \s unwilling, unleis by Olympia, there,- tore this Rude Ceremony was Omitted.
But the Sixth Ceremony (and (6 many there
nuilt be to comport kill with the number
F 4 of
5 3 The Notorious Life
of the name of the Beaft, 666.) is a Cere- •moriy of Ceremonies, So it fupplies the late omiffion of the f fib by way of Redundancy: for this introduced! all the Splendour and Grandeur of his prime Trocejjion, Confecra- tion,Ctrcrjaticn,&:c. (i)His firit Prccejfionafter his Election was thus pompoufly managed: tms great Man, or rather, tins great God was mounted upon Mens (houlders in the moft fplended Equipage imaginable, fuch as 50/c- mon in all his Glory 'was never Araye d^with (for you muft fuppoie this Pope to be the goodly Lilly, or rather the glorious and gawdy Tulip, that our Lord fpeaks of Matt. 6. 28, 29-j However fuch as neither CbriA himfelf (who was greater than Solomon, Matt. 12. 42. ) nor much lefs his'Apoftle Teter fwhofe Succefibur this Pope pretends to be) ever took upon them the like pro digal and pompious Grandeur. This Pope iras now Arayed in Scarlet Robes, Furr'd with Ermines quite through, and Adorned with the Richeft Gold and Silver Laces, there was pla ced upon his Head a moft glittering and glori ous Tripple Crown of Gold, and a moft Rich Collar of Gold all curioufly Enameld with the choiceft Jewels and chiefeft precious Stones : there were put into his Hands two Golden Keys ^pretended to be the lame, that Chrift gave to Peter, and that 'peter at his Death be queathed
of this prefent Pope of Rome. c -
queathed to the Popes fucceffively) wkicB *??,. or opening and putting the Gates of H.. 'a place where Himfelf is never like tb come) for whom he pleafeth : and over hii Head was carried a moft ftatcly Canopy with lofty , flying, and mofr gawdy Streamers, and He Hirnfelf under it molt Trim, with his Artificial Locks finely curl'd and powdef'd with a Vaft Tower or Fruz upon his Fore- lead (in the very Drefs of the Myftical Whore} and in all this Antick Drels and Pe- dantick Pageantry, this Pope was preferred to the people, who ( together with his Page) made thereupon loud Acclamations : \Vvue le Pa fa, Vive It Papa'] all along as He made lis Progrefs to Peters Chair : mark here, while this Apocalyptick Beaft was thus moun ted upon Mens moulders, He was then car ried like a Conqnerour, who had now made a compleat Conqueft over the whole Con clave of his Fellow-Cardinals, and new had ftotitly Stormed fin defpight of all fraud and force, yea, of Fate it .(elf) the ponri- ;fkal Chair, and in this pofture He was not onely like King Sattl, who was higher by the Head and (ImtUers than all the People, but alfb as a mighty Nimrod, -who was to Trample them all under Foot, His Feet ftanding as high as their Heads : but the moft fignifi- cant Ceremony in his palfage from the Gol den
60 77:e Notorious Life
den Hatch .or Wicket, to his Chair of State»> was this, a lump of Flax was carried before Him Burning , whereat thefe words were proclaimed.
— — 5*V Tr an/it Gloria Mundi.
*Tis the Prayer of prudent and pious Pror teftants, that an happy Blair may deicend from Heaven to blow out for ever all this Antichrittian Glory .Even fo Amen & Amen.
Thus was he brought to his Chair of State, which was likeivile covered with Scarlet, all richly Embroidered, Fringed round about with a Go'd and Silver Silk Fringe, and gloriotifly bedeckt with Golden Balls and Croffes, and which was placed upon as Lofty. and as Coftly a Throne as was that of ScL- nions, i Kings 10. 18. Thither was he brougt upon Mens (boulders, and when gently taken down (for fear of hurting the good old MarO there was Htfeated, there was He conrecratedy and there was He crown-, ed, 6Vc. when all this fokvtmtj is accom- plifhed, then His Herald (dreiled up in a Garb comporting with the Pomp ) pro- cKiims by found of Trumpet , His great Lord and Matter, to be now [the King tf Kings, and Lord cf Lords} and as if that were not iiim'ci^nt , Ha had his Parafites
prerjared
of this prefent Tope of Rome. 61
prepared to cry loud [God Elefs cur Lord d the Pope'] Thus He1, who trode under foot onely the People before , mult now trample upon the Neeks of Kings and EmT perours , inltance onely in poor Emperour Frederick , who was confrrained to lay fprawling under the proud Popes Feet , on whofe Neck He inlolently trampled at lrc- nice : Tis therefore one part of this Pompi- pus. Magniricency, that this Magnifico hath two Swords Itanding ered by his Chair of State at his right Hand, to denote, that not onely the Sword of Exc&itmunicaticv , but alfo the Sword of Civil Dominion belongs to him alfo : To lay nothing of the number of Gawdy Beads, Agnus Deis : and abundant more Remiflj Trumpery expofed to publick View, for the better letting otf the Solem nity of his Inauguration: I think 'twas about well , that, together with his 1 itle aforementioned , this alfo [ God of Gods J was not fuperadded, fo exalted Him above the moft High God^ as well as over all Lords, Kings , and Emperottrs. The Reman Cavon and Ceremonial Law commands the People, to lay at the ¥cpes Injlalment [ih:u art our God the 'Pcpe] and Pope Martin. Could calm ly and complaifantly receive the Comple ment of the Sicilian Embailadour laying \jlmtart the Lawl? of God, tl?at takefe tnpey
tbe
£x The Notorious Life
the ftnt of the World} fo was this, but to deJ clare to all the World, that it is He who ft A in the Temple of God, exalting Himfelf above^ all that is called God, if not above the true God Himfelf, the Pope daredifpence with,! if not difanul or contradift the Law oil God: 5 n re I am, never did any mortal Man look more like proud Lucifer (who (aid ero ficut Al'.iffimm, I will be like, If not a- bove, the mofr Htgh, i(a. 14. 14. ) than this prefent proud Pope in his pontificalibtis ex- pofed to View with all thofe Additional For malities did go, all which , yet one more muti Itill be added, to wit, the change of his Name, his old Name [pJefchalco the Cardi nal muft be turned into Innocent the nth. How Nccent this Innocent was, the feqtid will demonftrate. Yet follows he the Pat tern of Bcce* di Porco or Hog-face, who was thejfr/ Tope that changed his Name, thus when his Succeflburs were Cowards , they muft be called Leo, if he were a Tyrant,cal- led Clement, if a Ru/tick, Ur banns though never fiich a Turbanus, or trouble World : If an Athieft then Pious. So if never 16 ob noxious, or Nccent then it muft be Innocent. The Popes of thefe later Years have been ge nerally (hort lived, to Inftance onely in a few of the laft Edition, Cardinal Cbigi was Elefted Pope, in the year yy. April the
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 63
7/&, call'd kimfelf Alexander the jtb, one troublefome enough to the Church, &c. He foon trips off (Whether from the good- nefs of God or his own good Nature, I fhall not fay) gave up the Ghoft, and Reilgned up the Chair to Cardinal Ko/pg/je/, who (iicceeds him June 2oth. by the Name of Clement the 9^, in the Year 67. The lofs of Candia afflicted him much more, than the \urntng of London, and haftened his Death in the Year 70. The Conclave being fhut up above Four Months (a long time to be in the Dark, where they made day of Wax Handle, Having neither Windows nor Holes :p let in light) at laft had fo much light as :p Eled Cardinal Altitri, which was the bating Pope that Created our Cardinal ward (who is after to be mentioned) and hen Dyeth in the Year 76. having born he Name of Clement the Tenth. So gives 3lace to our Cardinal Odefchalco, &C. what i black Character they all bear in the Hifro* y of cardinals , I muft rather requeft the leader to oblerve it there than to expecl: it lere ; especially of this prefent Pope Don ~)lyntfias grand Favourite : but above all, I vender at that Iriflv Prophet Malachi which Dr. Heylin mentioneth inhisCofmog. aft Edition p. 106.) who lived in the iif£, 'entury, contemporary with Bernard, yet
undertook
6.j The Notcr/ctis Life
undertook to give an account of all Popes from that time to this day, and He doth by Symbols andHierogliphicks, and omitting all others, as be/kle our purpofe that which is moft remarkable, is the cha racter, He fb prophetically Inlpofeth upon this prefent Pope Symbolically, and in an Hieroglyphick Way plainly Stiles Him, Pelliia Infatiabilis, an Infat table Reafty I have been thinking iince I found it that this Mala- chi the Iriflj Prophet (not to meddle with his other predictions, &c.) hath Accommoda ted this character fb eongruoufly to this Gdefchalcoj as if he had been t-he 'Jeiuifo Prophet Adalachi, vvho infallibly had the In fallible Spirit , What kind of Spirit ("this Po- pifh Saint, a Ceitertian Monk, Arch-Bifhop of Dublin in Ireland) was endued with, is not eaile to Determine, yet is there found luch an Admirable Harmony inter lignum O1- fariatum, the Per fen and the things do .Symbolize to Aftonifhmenc, as MfJ/ingbaf&j, Stiff &j &c. do obierve.
Ccnveniunt Remits itfdnfina S^pe Suit.
Thar this 4mftnt Pope flionld be; pointed <nit ( as by the Finger ) to be an Insatiable Bead, above Five Hundred Years before i fc was Born, mult be acknowledg'd Mira-i
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 6$
bile Ditfu; If ieveral of the true Prophets of God did (6 TrulyForete] of Nebuchadnez,- z,ar, that He would A rile, and become Gods \Battle-Axe toHew down theDegenerate Ge neration of the j/Wj,bring them to literal Ba bylon, keep them Captive there for Seventy long Tears, &c. And if feveral of the True AfojtlescfChnjt did 16 Truly Foretel of An- .tichrift, that he would Arife out of the Earth and out of the Sea, and become the Devils Patriarch t"o tread down the outward Court of formal ProfeUpurs, carry them Captive to Myflical Babylon, keep them in Captivity for one thousand two Hundred and fixty long Tears, &c. And both theft, Some Hundred of Years before they both came to pals : Why may we not call this ftrange Prophet, (that thus long before foretold of this Indi* vidual prefent Pope, that he would Arife, and become an Invariable Beaft) The Pro phet Mdacl'i the Second, notwithftanding he was one of tteMonkifi Order,l cannot but Judg His Teltimony is therefore fo much the ftronger, fop 'tis a received Maxim [ fir mum eft probandi Genus cjuod ttitim ab ^d-vcrfflriv Siimifur , quum far it as etiatn ab Inimicii Ktr/* tat is frobari pcflt'] 'tis t-he itrongelt kind o proof, when the very /><??#;« cf the 7 ruth are conftrained to bear \\ itnefs to it. Here upon LiidtvieHs l/wes de Probabilitalis Info-u rn ani is
66 The Notorious Life
mentis faith thus \_Amici contra Amkum, & Inimici fro Inirnico Invincibile Teftimoniunt erit] which in plain Englifi muft thus be «c- ; flained. The Teftemony of a Papift againft ft Fapiftj and of a Papift for a Proteftant is a Teftimony without exception, and more Ift- fallible than this Infallible Pope , againffc whom this Popifti Monk, Malachi, bearetb fach an undeniable Teftimony, though his Friend as of the feme Religion , yet Ho nours He Him with no better a Title , than that of an Infatiable Beaft.
The whole Scope of all the following Difcourfe is no other than a Defiant and Comment upon that Black and Beaftly Brand, wherewith this Irijh Prophet ( Monk Mala- cbi ) Stigmatiz'd him with, fo many Hun dred Years before He was in Rerum Natu- ra, or had any Exiftence : Now that He hath been (b long in his prefent Being, and hath been Ading ( like the Devils Patri arch ) his Devilifh part in the Tragedy up on the Theatre of the World, ever fince September the Twenty-Firp, in the Year Se venty Six, whereon He was CcnftcrateJ and Crowned, &c. as above. Time is always the beft Expofitor of the moft Abftruce and Obfcure Prophecies i and what a full and perfeft Exposition Time it (elf hath already made ( and may hereafter make more )
upon-
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 6"^
upon this very Text and Title of this Irijh
opb<.t Malachi, 'concerning this Pope, is my Task I have before me to Demon- ftrate.
Firft, In General, That this prefent Pope s a Beaft, is as plain, as if Writ with a Beam of the Sun upon a Wall of Marble . Seeing )bth the Prcpbet Daniel , and the Apoftle John, do Unanimoufly call the whole Se ries of thole Roman Popes no better than
a(ts, yea, fuch Beairs as are beyond and above all Names, as in the Preface.
Tis manifeft enough even out of their own Authors (fuch as Wrote the Lives of the Popes) How that many, if not moft of them, were Men of Sin with an Accent ; yea, I'eafts rather than Men ; yea, even Mon- fttrs in Iniquity : See Dr. Hcylirfs Cofmog. pag. 1 06, 107, 108. of the la ft Edition, where you have a Black-Bed Roll of their State and Story, to the number of Thirty one, which is a lucky Number, call'd an even Hitter, and is (aid, a Knave and One and Twenty, (or in plainer Englim, a Knave, that ftands for ten [Knaves ] and One and Twenty more (of the lame litter, or letter) wins all at the Game of Noddy this Chriftmaft time, wherein' The Knave '.'. t?*9 is turned up Trump with a wit- :e(?-r. Seealfo J^V^ Difa-cefj of /intichrtft, G pag.
6$ The Notorious Life
pag. 96, p, 5:8, 99, 60,61,62. \Vhereyou have a Compendious Landskip of but a few of the Popes Lives ( all gathered out of their own 'Roman Writers ) to (hew in fhort, what Beafo, what Mongers cf Men they have been : And that this great Truth may be Ccmpleatly Confirmed by the Mouth of even Three Wttneffis, See alfo Dr. Scalter in his Comment upon the Second of Theffahn. pag. 1 1 $•, where he faith, [ If a Man may be fb bold with the Pop*, as f 0,60 Bapift was with our Saviour ( and why ihould C&nj? be more Rudely Handel'd than Anticbrtft ) Asking, [_Art then He tbatfiould come, or do we look for another ?] The like Anftver may moft properly be Returned, [ Go and Tell what yen heard and feent to Wit, Cod is Ccn- fcmrfdi the Devils are J-Fbrflnpd, Religion is Tropbanft, Superftiticn is Hatto^dj Beaftly Luft is Prafttcdj and Yarricide is not only Ter.- fftrated, but PatrenizfJ, '] with much more Horrid Hellifhnefs thole [ Par fa prcoi He- wine* "j or Wicked Popes have done : Is not this tlie Man cf S;w, the dpccalypticL Beafi, the Matcblefs Mcnpef, Prophecy 'd of in the it'ord, that fhouki conic into the World and play Rex, and his Pranks in it : Now 'tis below this prelent Pope to be better than his Piedcceiiors, He Scorns to Degenerate the Worfr of them, ehufing rather to
Imitate
of this prefent Tcpe of Rome.
imitate them, than Holy Peter. The Prophet Stiles him a Beaft , and Time hath proved him Ib. Our next Work is to fhew him the Infntiable One , for Craft and Cru elty.
The Epithet Infatiable hath Variety of Ac- ceptions,. according to the Variety both of its Suhjeff and Objett* There be various Pdffions of the Mind of Mart , tliat are H'eadftrong, Extravagant and Infatiable, whereby Man is turned into a Beafr, as Thus,
Firft, The Paffion of Ltift, when it grows Unruly and Ungovernable, Tranfporting.ttie Monk out of his Monaftery into the Nun nery among the Nuns, or liippole the Man a Cardinal) or a Pope, when he is Exported •out of all Bonds and" Bounds of Tempe rance and Continency , his Unruly Liijt cauieth him. Rudely to break His Vow of Chaftity, and He hereupon Applys himlelf ro lii? common Curte&ansj or Don Olvr^pia^s, then is the Beafr truly £tiled Infatiable. Or
Secondly, When that Paflibn of Bloud* Thirliinefs hath the like prevalency over the Mind of Man, makes him as Savage, and'. as Blondy-Minded as a Butcher" or Be^^ Mlornnch, that He Delights to Wallow in •'u.1 BloiuVof others, yea; to be Drunk with1 J8 z the
7o 7 be tfi-tori-w life
the Blond cf the Saints ( whica is the Trick of the Beafy ) then is the Beaft Rightly Branded with being Infat table, and then 'tis High Time for good Froteiiants to put up this good Frayer, Lord let this Drunken In- fatiable Bea/t, Spue and Tall, find never Rife ftp any more, of
Laity, ( To Omit other Exorbitant Pafl lions and1 Affections of Mankind ',) the Third Cafe is, When the Connatural Paflfion of Covetoufntls hath got fuch a Predominancy- over the Mans Mind, that it Metamorpho- fes htm into a Muck-worm , yea , into a Mole, that Snbterraneal Blind Creature, which lives altogether within the Earth (be ing Reitlefs, as out of ks Center, while out of it ) and hath nothing to do with Heaven : Mu ft Evermore have his Mouth . and Claws full of Earth, when the Manvtill Extraft Gain out of a very mnghil, a Vaft Revenue for Indulging Stews, and that as a Necefiary Convenience, [ Ai purgandos Renes j efpiicially in the 1 hree Hot Months of the Year, when the Man doth practical ly approve of that Motto, [ Lttcri bonus eft cdor ex re tjufyzbet, ~] and that other too, f Lucrum c Lotio eft Optabile, ~] Theje were the Old Symbols of * fbme Great Men of Rome, who thought all Gain Sweet, though r.or out of the Pite-Pot, &c. And this
Grot:
of this prefent Tope of Rome. 7 1
Great Man of Rom3 is no Changling from them, He is for getting the Devil and all, with his Cain front all .Quarters, Ifa. y6. IT. and Micah 3. 3. ferTctum, Then alfo is the Beaft Invariable, and upon this 1 hird .Ac count it is, that the Trcfbtt Malachi the Se cond, aforefdid, calleth in His Characters, this very Odefchahho ( the prefcnt ?ope ) Bcllua Infatabilts, as a late Learned Writer doth veil Interpret it : Though this Beaft (>f Rente hath been Infati/tb!e enough as is fuppofed, in the Firft Cafe and Account of Infaiiak'Hty, when he look'd upon Carnal Ccncuptjcencc with Romifl) Spectacles, and according to the lopifh Doctrine, but a FeccaJillo, a Trick of Tcuth, a Vtriial Sin j He had that Flefh-ptealing Circular faying, £ Confefs after Sin, Sin and Confefs, in Infioi- tum,3 in great Veneration, as a Sovereign Cure for a Popifh Confcience, and indeed, 'tis a wonder that all the World ( which lays in Wickednefs, i John y. 19. ) will noteafily turn Papifts, that they may Sin, in Sins of all forts, with Peace, wherein they can Blefs themfelves with Pardons prepared and to be Purchafed : But to let that pa(s, feeing the JeftlitS Rule, [ Si non ca/e, tamen caute ] Anticipates Intelligence of fuch Deeds of Darknels, till the Pond come to be Scowred again, wherein were found Thousands of G 3 Infanps
7% The Notorious Life
Infants Skulk, which, as it promoted the Deftruftion of Abbeys here, fo in Time eve ry where, yea, of Rome it felf, that JSrn thel-flcitfe of Babylon. My Work at jprelfcnc is, to give him his due Character of an Infa- tiable Healt in both 'the other Refpefts, with a little i'ranipoiition of the Third , ( as coming next to Hand into the Seconds place ) to wit, both as a Greedy and as a Cloudy loanable Beaft.
This Prophet Malacbi ( the Irifli Monk) hath Divine Warrant to call this Pope an Infatiabk Bea/f , feeing the Prcpb.-t Ifaiab calls fuch Priefts ( ejufdem Faring of the 'fame Erann with this High PrieftJ Greedy Dogs, which can never have enough , Ifa. f 6. 10, ;i. and though they were dumb Do^ and could not bark, yet could they bite well enough, perverting the Houfe of God for Prayer into a Den of Cut-Throat Thieves : How far this Pope hath been the Jewifli "Prophets Greedy Der, and the frifh Prophets Insatiable Beajt, falls fir It in Order to De- monitrate : fb His molt Eminent and Gain ful Cks4ts, whereby he Gulls the filly People, Cohere follow.
He is (in the General ) the Grand Impo- jhr of thejfarld, fo the Page was cali'd by Doctor Morten Eifhop ot Durdm many ^ ears ago, vvhpjfe Elaborate Cook Difiourfr
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 7 3
eth the many Legerdemain Tricks where? wirh He decei-mth Nations, and all and only to pick their Pockets.
May we but be let in a little to behold
the Bowels of this Grand Cheat, and View
but a while his Guts and Garbage, 'twill
(bon be Difcerned that he is the Devils Par
triarky bearing upon his Banner the Abomi*
•nation ef Desolation : The time would fail to
tell, How many Families this Abominable
Beaft hath made Defolate : what elfe is the
whole Cento and Fardle of Popery , but a
Concatenation of Wiles to compals a pnrfe ?
What is the chief Detign of this .Balaam of
Rows, but a continual conjuration for an
Houfe-fttll of Gold and Silver? Witnefs his
lying Legends , His Mock-Miracles , fraying
for the Dead, and a Thouiand more nimble
Tricks too tedious to enumerate, but above
all , His Doctrine of Purgatory , The Fire
whereof doth more effectually warm tke
Popes Kitchm , than Torture any Soul He
Damns into it. '1 is a Cheat of Cheats : Me-
think? the Apojlle Peter points at this Pope,
(Who pretends to be his Sticcefibr) while
he fpea-ks of fuch , as through Covetoufnefs
with feigned Words, do make Mtrchandife
of Men, and when He names Balaam tit
Sen of Bofor, who loved the wages cf Iniquity
fo far, until the Vitmb Afs forbad the mad-
G 4 fiefs
Notorious Life
nefs of the profane ? rcpbet, yet Hs .cannot pas oil Wi'hout paring a Divine Lor.m, ftving, whofe Ju^^f»r,Jt nnv if a tcng rive lirgretbj and yet ihtir Damnation jlumbrcth not, 2 Pet. 2. 3.1^, 1.6. How can it Jinmbeir long, vvhep the cry of his cheating 'I neks (together with tkit of Ehud) is gone up to Heaven to lietch down Gods Vtngeance upon this Topes j^ead, and upon his vvi.Oid fcpeJom : Let the dfopje Paul aifb joyn IHue in this matter with his bdciad ftttr, (borh wlich iire reprefenttd B/«//J;T*£, as before, at fiich pittiful pretended Succef. fors ) who faith likewife [ as Jannes and Januires with flood Mofes, jo do tb^e :he Mt\- fias, Mtn of corrupt A^inds, (in$ Reprckatf concerning the Faith : Rut tiny fiall procetd no further^ fcr their folly faall be made wanifcft to all Mtn-> as theirs aljo was, 2 1 im 3. 8, 9. Now what Were Janms and Jambrcs, but a couple of Gipfy or ^Egyptian Ccujunrs, that cheated the People with thejr lying JMiracles,&c. And fuch have (oiiie of the Topes of Rome (that Myflical ts£gypt, Rev. i r . 8.) been, &c. [ Habemus Reos Conftentes } Popiih Authors do acknowledg it, and did JMofei muzzle the Months, and made their Cheats manifeft to all Men ? How much more will the Mejpas (who is greater than Heb. 3.3.) confound in due time
this
of this prefent Pope of Rome, 75-
this Grand Impiftcr. 'Tis impoflible for any Man of a Sober Mind to think other wile, efpeaal'y, If he ca.t but a feeing Kye up on [7tixa Centers slppftolic<e~\ the Apo^oli- cal Chamber in the Vatican at Rome, where this Pc.pe harh opend his Pedlars' tack, expo- fed all his Vendible Commodities (for Ro ma Omnia Venalia,) to the belt Advantage of commending them to his Chapmans Eye, no Mop fb well furriilhed, orattbrds filch, 1 empting Propped: in any of the Walks of the Royal Exchange Chambers, and that which gives the molt Splendid and Decoy- ng Luitre is , there you have the Pope limfelf in his Grandeur, Courting in Cutto- mers, gcod Man, He dare not trull: his Vat als, a pack of Knaves, He hath found them ong, wou'd go Snips with their Malter, He la's now Learnt by His Loft. Keep the Shop ilobin, and it iv'dl keep tLee. There himfelf 'tands crying in the very Language of Folly • not of Ifcidom] who Jo is J&ttplt , let him urn in Hither, Prov.9. 16. He Cants in his Profelytes with Pedlars Pedantic k Oratory, "toying them in with come along my Cro* ties, my Soft Pates (Tor you mult fuppofe "~ ! is of the fame Sentiments with that Crafty Sbcp-Keeper, who once Boated, He A/ould not fell all his Children and Fools, his Ciuftomers, for Ibme Hundreds of Pounds
in
y 6 The Notorious Life
in the Year ) come along my Corculums, look about you , Gentlemen , what lack you ? Lo, here's a Goofe-Giblet Pye, wherein every Palate may pleafe it felf, what will ye buy P I am juft now upon my laft Legs, my long Leafeof 1260 Years is now at its lait Gulp and Expiration, what, never a packing- penny among you all for a poor packing-oil *'-.pe: But are you Defirous jto know his War^s fall very Vendible to the Credulous, that never think of the Cheat) What are his Commodities in particular > \ \vil! tell you , where you have them all named, and we are not a little obliged to the Infallible Holy Gkoft , that will take all the pains in giving us a DillincT: Catalogue of all this Infallible Gheftly Fathers Commo dities : He tells you, Rev.iS. 12,13. in) t'mfts Stately Shop, you may have for jt Mqney [the Merchandise of Gold an&\ ery preci&us Stones and Pearls, fae Lenncy\ Purple, all Silk and Scarlet, all Thjne 6/j Sweet Wooel, all wanner cf Vefl'els of focrm ell manner of VeJJ'eh of precious Wood , of) Jlrfffs, of Iron, and of Marble ; yet more,1 yea, and Cinnamon, Oacitrs, and Omtmentsi yea, Fnrnkincenfe, Wine and Oyl, yea, fivei 'floorer and Wheat, yet more, there be Beaftsl and S&etfr and Her fa, ( I wonder Affes are kft outj and Chariots, an<i Slaves, (no doubt
odl
cf tins prefent Pope of Rome. 77
n't, :but the greateft Ware is behind J the
of Men.
Who will not lay here [God blelsus] Vjhat a Shop is this? So Capacious, and fo xrcommodated with all the choicelt and hlefeft Commodities, that this lower World .an atford : Here's the Riches of both the (Gold, Silver, and precious Stones there" f ) Here's the Riches of allCountrys and kingdoms, betwixt Eaft arid Weflt North and South : Here's the very Quinteiience and Compendium of Europe , of AJia, of if rick , and of America : is not this the Grand Impoftor, that even call'd for a pack- ng-penny p a poor Pope, who hath ib much of Treafure, enoughto fcrve himfelf and enough to fell to others, But I wonder lie expoieth his Scarlet to Sale, Having fo much ufe for it to Array the Scarlet H^hore : as alfo that the Beaft fnould be a Seller of and above all, I wonder what price He fas u pon the Souls of Men : feeing our Chriit (who belt knew the worth cf Souls, becaufe He onely went to the price f)f Sou Is J Gained cne Soul worth the whcle ld, Matth. 16. 26. Surely He muit be jdntichrifty who fettetb Souk for Trifies : Iu a Word, furely, This Pope is Jack of att s : Here he is a Goldl'with, .with his and Silver, and it may be a Banker,
I wun
78 ?w Notorious Life l
I wi(h him to become a Bankrupt. Here he is a Jeweller, with his Pe^r// and Precious Stones. Here he is a Linnen-Draper, with his F;»e L*wT£» and Purple, ( I doubt He wants the Scetcb-Clctb.) Here you have him a Silk-Man with his Silks of all forts, and fear nor, but he has S^ttew ( or Sa wn ) enough. Here he is a Turner, that Sells all forts of Vcgels, wherewith he Tur the World Upfide Down ; this He effects by Veffilscf Wra:b, but He Sells for Slaves the Vejjels of Mercy. Here you have him one while a Bvaz,f.r with his Brafs ; another while an Ir en- Monger with his /row ; yea, fbmetimes a Stcnc-Cntter, with his Marble, and why not a 7i»&r too, being a Kin to him, that inltead of mending fome Holes, made many more, yet was well paid for his pains. Here he is a Drugrift) with his Ctxnamon, Occurs and Ointmtnt, &C. not one Sophisticated Drug amongit them all. Here he comes as a Vintner with his Bottles of Wait to comfort the Heart, and his Cruifes of Oil to Chear and Clear the Countenance; 'tis well if there be not a Tincture of the Wine of Sodom among Hands. Yea, ra ther than fail , He becomes a Corn-Chand- ler, affording you Wheat, either broken in to Flour ( with Bran enough in it ) or in the whole Grain, but a little Mufty by lay- f
ing'
of this frefent Pope of Rome. 79
ing in a bad Granary or Garner, the A- poltolical Chamber. Yet lower, nay rather than fit Idle, he will come as a Ruiiick Drover to Sell Beafts, and Sheep, arid Ht/r- £/, ( well Mouthed and Man'd all, and made as Tame as Affix.) And at lait he comes as a Coach- Maker, who has his Charots to Sell, but have a care they carry you not to PAT- ratory inftead of Abrahams Bofcm. But to Crown up the Catalogue of all his Commo dities, Note, that which we Read Slaves, dothfignifit [jW/w, ] which he Sels for Slaves, and the Souls of Men too. And fb ^altly, he becomes a Body-feller, and ( to make a thorough-whole-fale Trade, a Soul- "eller alfo. Let us all ( with Mofes ) turn ifide to lee this great Wander, fure I am, ns- /er did Proteus turn himfelf into fb many Chapes, never did any Jefuit ( this Popes Creature ) Convert himlelf into ib many fallings, as His Marter is here Reprefent- d in. The Pope hath made a Monopoly )f all Employs to himfelf, both in City and Country. And the greateft Merchants Shop whole Riches lay not there, but in the i^arehoiife ) cannot, though taken both ogether, be compared to the Afoftclical Chamber. One coming into a Merchants hop ( I knew the Man, a Ruftick Carri- r ) . and feeing no Goods therein, Bluntly
Asks
So The Notorious Life
Asks the Apprentice ( fitting alone in the? Shop ) what was Sold there.'' the Malapert Youth Anfwered, We Sell Loggerheads^ lay you (b, faith the Ruliick, Then you have a Quick Market for them, feeing I fee but One left in the -Shop. There is no Danger of any Citizen or Countryman either Miffing (what Wares he would beat) or Miftakings ^f that Nature, for here's all things Expole d ro View. There is yet One Mifchief men-* tion'd, Revel, i8-.ii. where (this Rich Shop is Inventory 'd ) that jSTo Man Buyeth Merchandise any more : . This will break hirtf at laft.
But let my Countrymen take thefe Two1 Cautions,
Firft, Have a care of a Cheat in his cor-; nipt Commodities ; for he fells them all iii a very dark Shop, not differing you to ex1-' ercife your own Reafbn , you muft take' all upon his crack'd Credit, and comply' with His pnce in an Implicit Faith, and in blind. Obedience you muft believe what the' Pope believes, and he is no luch Fool as (iifcommend his own Wares, He belt Em braces Blindfold Buyers, Ignorance ;s the J/"- to& of his Merchandise.
The Second Caution is, 'Tis dangem:.- venturing into this Sipoft-clicalCbamtter, lea ft' 0>j? Grand Cheat pick vour pocket?, tor
though
8 2, The Notorious Life
of the Revelation is fo Abftrule and My.le-t. rious, that it requires another Revelation to * unfold its Myitery : I confefs, I have con-"-, fulted fbme Learned Interpreters upon the plnce: Cut that which is Inftar Owning, and gives a None-Such Interpretation is the cbttf Emitter of the Apoiroiick Chamber in his Infallible Account Book.
Never did the profcundeft Interpreter ( no not the Accutei? of their own Popifo Po/iKers) make a plainer Explanation of any Dark Scripture , than this Popes Auditor Gene- ; r/z/hath made of Rev. 1 8. 12. 13. All the Voluminous Quirks of the moft Mercurial J'efuits [_ Cajetsm, Me-ido&a, Salmeron, &rc.^ are comparatively but Iniiped Stuff, and dull Defcants to that one ^udit/rs Record of- the Romi(h Merchandife in this Popes Apo- itolical Chamber Yea, the Chaise Paraphrafe, orOnkelos(fo much cry'd up m the World) is but a Jejune Piece to ir. 1 bis is the Master Piece of all, wherein what be the Rtwifo Pearls and precious Stcnes,fcc. are made Ib Ltgtble and Intelligible , that every common Capacity may both stpprehevd and Compn- btnd the right Notion of them.
In that known Court-Rolls and Rate- Ecok, isRegiltred, and made publick ;l-e common and current Price otamary choice and curious Commodities, as Pard.n^ In-
dignity
of this prefent Pope 0/Rome. 83
, Licences , Absolutions, Sec. what ever you have a mind to buy : Indeed the Crys of Vendible Wares in the Streets of London [_ will you buy this, &C. and will you buy that, &c. 3 are both [_ ^MU^H and i s\t •'."// ] manifold and fbmewhat hard i to be understood, efpecially in fome of the : cryes : but the cryes and cutcryes in the Street s \ of Rome, do far exceed the belt of curs, yea that of Dainty Trotters, Curious Tjotters : But they that have a mind toTrot to Rome, may There hear far better Crys, as this for one [will ye buy any Bodies, will ye buy any Souls of Men? ~] This is a Raree-Show In deed, and fiich a Tickling , Tempting Cry, as will oaufe empty Houfes, who would not Run out ( though the Pot be boiling upon die Fire, and the Spit turning at it ) to lee the Wonders of the Beaft ? Revel. 13. 3, 13, 14. Who would not but defire to be a Chapman for ( at leaft to Cheap ) his Rare Commodities?
But becaufe it may feem a little below His Highnefs and Holinefs, to become a com mon Cryer, He hath learnt the Trick of pur Nimble Quacks and Don jQuick-Sots ; as every common jj>uack and Mountebank, Prints now his Bills, Hands them out Gratis with much Generofity, yet catches Children Foals enough to pay for them ; there H you
§4 ?be Notorious Life
j
you have fet down, Elixir Vita at fb much, Elixir Salutis at fb much j the Golden Spirit at fb much, the Scurvy Spirit at fc much, Sovereign Powder forlb rnxch, the Tlai/far, cali'd AU-Hcal, for fo much, and Twenty Rarities more ( all Arcanums ) none At tains to fiich a Secret as himielf ; every thing Expofed is good for all things, if but a Thumb-Battle of his Liquor be Bought, 'twill Cure all Difeafcs; if but a little ot his Balfbm be Applied , 'twill Heal alt Wounds. What Madmen be thefe to be ei ther Slain of Die in the mid.t of Ib many Antidotes, &c. Yea, the Meuntebank goes a little further, He comes forth Cum Regis Privilege, makes Experiments upon him- felf, both in Stabbing* and Poifonings, Builds his Theatre , whereon he Expoleth all his Cheating Tricks to Publick View, and when the Credulous come not in faft enough to make their Markets there, his Merry- An drew mult Dance upon a Rppe, -play Twen ty pretty Pranks ( yet all the while more Knave than Fool ) to Decoy them, and yet when all is done, few more than the kabble are Caught in the Snare.
So this Grand ^uack the Pope, and JM ft er- Mount eb cink i Prints his Dills Cttm Prir;~ %/<?, commends to the Life his Curfed Wares, Acts all the parts of the former to
a Threedf
(f this prefexf Pope of Rome. $5
a Threed, yet Advances upon an Higher Stage. And indeed 7 riis Wares have a fttange Operation. If but a Thumb- Rot tic of hislVme of Fornication be Drunk, it will Itrangely Intoxicate even the Kings of the Earth. And his Jejuits PeWer vvill work- Wonders.
But not to detain you in the Dark any long -r, If you have a mind to be Cheated, or only to fee his Cheats, you'l rind his Printed Bills, Publiih'd to the' whole World with Anticbrifs Arms itampM upon them, hi his Tax* Camera Apoftolica, where you have the Scarlet Wbwtfs Adulterated Wares particularly Reprefented, both in their Spe~ cicsj Properties, Profits and Prices, yea, and there is Mwfus Diah'oli, the Herb eall'd De- <v'd-bit, to wrap them up in, call into the Bargain.
Take only an Anttyhnrmacon, a Divine A$ay and Prelervati've , along vvith you, kali: your Noltrils be oltended, and your Vital and Animal Spirits contract any Tin cture of Contagion, while I am ( to fatisfk your Cufiofity ) but a little way Digging into this (linking DungbiL I have good War rant for this my good Work, in laying open the Cheating Abominations of this Scarlet Coloured BeAft. As that Man of Godt greatt Elijah could not tell how to Ridicule enough
H 2 th»
§6 Ike Notorious Life
rhe Prophane Priefts of Baal, i Kings 1 8-. 27. Much more may I Ridicule the Grand Mafter of them, and this cannot be hettes done, than by giving you but a brief Land- skip of the Reman Merchandize , a bare Recitatim whereof is a furficient Refutation to any Sober and Right Thinking Mind.
The ^poftolical Chamber Pons up its [Si J^w, &c. J If any one want this or that Popifli Trumpery, they may c.mt and be welcomes.*. tkis^rt/e»f Popes Ware-houie, pro vided always they come with Money in their Hands, and come up to the cu?n nt Price ( by Canon- Law ) of each Vtndi' le Commodity ; come along my Hearts, My So», Give me thy Heart. You (hall have Robin Hood Penniworth3j enough for your Money in all Confdence : becaufe you are all Friends, you ihall all be very Kindly Uled, and fo Farcwd.
A Schedule or Lilt of the Romijb Wares, this Pope ( the Lord of the Manour ) Ex- pofeth ro Sale by Inch of Candle, take as followeth,
Imprimis , Hi? Expofeth hisPick-pockering Pardons of all forts and fizes, and the Prices thereof ( in Ibme of them ) are fet down in Black and White upon the Popes Tables bung out to PubHck View, or fomething As
k Firfl..
83 Tlje Notorious Life
fo long a Time . provided he may have general Warranty for fecuring his Bargain till that Tims be Expir'd ; and much more of this-Traih, &c.
i ' Item, stiifolutions of various Prices, ac cording the Crime committed. As
Firlt, For Sacriledg , Ten Shillings and Six Pence.
Secondly, For Symuny in a Pneft the lame Price, but in a Lay-Man the odd Eighteen Pence (hall be Baited. Kindly done.
1 hirdly, For Perjury, 'tis a Rich Penny worth at Nine Shillings.
Fourthly, For Mttrdtr, If it be a Prieft that is Kill'd, it cannot be Dear at one {_ Two Pence J more than a frlark, J would never be a Fridl there, where my Life is no higher Valued. But you may Kill your father, Mother, Wife civ Sifter, &C. upon. Bailer Tern]?, That fnall but eoft you Ten Shillings and Six' Pence. •< ,
Fifthly, For Adultery, Devouring a Vir^ gin goes at Nine Shilling?, but Inceft with jMother, Sifter, &c. is cheaper, palling at Seven Shillings and Six Pence. And the Whore that Deftroys her Baltartf Child cji* ther before or after Birth, hatli the lelf t'JnieSum to pay.
Sixt'p.ly, For Burning 4 ±\eigkkou?s ffouic ,: Do£'^;he;ip at Twelve Shillings; but tor
Burning
oftbisprefentPoteofRQme.. 89
Burning Heretical Cities, 'tis feverely Pu- nim'd with being Cammed for Saints ,
Lieenrts for what you Lift.
Fine, it you be a Frieit you may keep a Whore, paying only Ten Shillings and Six Fence , and if a Lay-Man it will colt you no more ; that the one may not De ride the other.
Secondly, A Ltctnfe to be Lazy* and to become an ^%-^w/^er, and fb to be Inutile fondus Terr<c, Living there like Hogs in the Stie, unufeful to Mankind , unlels to the. Wanton Nuns.
Thvrdly, A Licenfe to be Licentious, and to have the liberty of the Stews the Three Hot Months of the Year , there is tbe Ro- wan Recipe prefer ib'd ( with Dr. Pope's. pobatum eft ) ad ptirgandos Renes. 1'his Grand ^uack , or great Mountebank , is Tender of his Fro'elyte; Health, Allows this Remedy ( whic'i God never thought of, when he faid, ' Jw mt gooti, for Man to be $i..ney Gen. 3. 1 8. ) to prevent his Pope- Lugs ( Under the V<n» of Cbaftity ) from failing into Acme Fevers, and to (hew hew good .Matured he will be to them (' Re membering it 'had been his own needful Fri- viiedg and Practice ) you may have thefe Two lait Licenfcs ( both to bo- La^y and to H 4 bv
90 7 he Notorious Life
be Licentious ) Gratis. Gra-Mercy up on his Kind Heart, they (hall not coft you a Penny.
Fourthly, Vet a Licenfe to Eat Flefi in Lent, will colt you much more, tor his Lin- Holinefs Infallibly Tudgeth this to be a far greater Sin than to keep a Whore. Yea, and' many more Indulgences.
Item, Here you may have Hly Water Chymically prepared, Secundum Artem D*- bbdicam, for driving away the Devil •, hence comes that Popifh Proverb, to exprefs ibmetting that is Hateful, [ A M*n loves it as well as tie Devil loves Hoi} Waftr.\ You rnuft fiippofe, that Water which the Pope Conjures into the like Holinefs with his own, is able to Conjure away the itrongelt Devil in Hell.
Item, You may have Holy Oil, com pounded according to the lame Art, only 'tis an Arcanum and Magisterial. 'I he Pope hath been (o kind to let the World know how he makes his Holy Water •, Piilij^g it out by Conjuration ; but be hath a mind to be frivate in Confecrating his Holy O//, and when he hath done his belt to it , have a care you eat it not with a Romifb Sailer, leaft it be mix'd with Jefuits Powder ; howv ever, 'tis good enough to Liquor yaur Boots after your long Journey to Rome, .
No
cf this frefent Pope of Rome. 9 1
No doubt but it lerves notably as an Un guent for ( far better than for anointing the Sick to make them well ) the Popes Cbaret W keels, makes them run glib in all Tran£ marine Countreys, and is now calling for a waft over into ours ; do not you hear Him at CaUice , Crying , have ever for Dover, have cyer for England : God grant Him contrary Winds , but if the Prince of the Air mult be permitted to lend Him a lift with a Favonian or Favourable Wind, God grant, this proud Myllical Tharaoh of Spi ritual tALgypt, Rev. ii. 8. May meet with no better a Fate and Fare, than that Litteral King of <^£gyft did; who, though tor ought we know to the contrary , had as fair way and weather into the midic of the Red Sea, as ijrael had, yet when Irrecoverably brought into an unavoidable Noofe ( which He could not Slip nor Retreat from ) then God looked out of the black fide of the Cloud ( which was towards His Ho/, as the brigbt fide was toward Ifrael) with an angry Coun tenance, took oif His Cbaret Wheels, made them ( though never fo well Oyled with His Priefis Holy Oyl ) drive Heavily, then dowsM Him $vith a Witneis, and drown'd Him (too- ^ with a Vengeance, Exod. 14. 7,20. 22,23, 24> 2?»^- I cannot but be confi dent, that the Lord will look through this
black
91 The Notorious Lije
black cloudy Di'fenfatian., with a look of Loie upon his own People (as he did upon poor,- fsrplextd Peter, Luke Z2. 61.) and with, a fact r W->a*k upon this great Leviathan, His HolyOyl i:-all fail His Chariot Wheels, ard they ihall never become as the Chariot * of Aminadab , England cannot ever be a Billing People to Receive Kim :
/few, Here you may have His He// &*/* alio, this is foundly Conjured likewiie into as good an Kolinefs as that of His Holy IVater, or as that of His own Holmtfs : and with this &oly. Stuff tiie Beaft works His Mighty Mi- ^acles and Wonders : What place ibever liath this Holy Salt fcattered upon it, nei ther the Devil nor any of his evil Spirits have any power againlt it .- *Tis a wonder there fhould be fo many Houfes, Haunted wifh Hobgoblins all over His HoltneJJes Do mains, Surely, either His Holy Salt hath lo.c its effcatious Vertue, or Himfelf hath Joit the Ri,-,ht Art to Cor)fecrate it, or more likely, the Devil is in H!S Prieits that they Improve it not. 'Tis a wonder this oU Sc+. phifter doth not dafh whole handfuls of this Holy Salt in the Eyes of thole Raw Frefamen ( thofe Novices as he calls the Proteftaurs) and fb to blind them for ever. But though this will not do (His Holy Salt having loll its Efficacy ) He hath a better Trick behind
far
93
far more Bioudy, He would Bleed and Burn thofe He cannot Blind : If His Hdy Sakha™ loft its Savour (as indeed it hath,) othenvUe there could never have been fo much Car rion, for wanj of Seafqning, both among Popes and His PopelingsJ what is it good to, bus to be caft to the Dunghil, and to be Trotltn Underfoot ? Matth. f. 13. England is as the Garden of 'Eden, never any Pcpe that palled through the Varyhwy Chair ( ever iince the Hrit of Ejectment was by an Al mighty Hand Served upon Him to diipollefs that Devil in the Reformation ) but Be hath lick'd his Lips, and longed after fbme fiveet Lettuces, that Grow in this Ewgty/j Garden, God grant it may be, as the Law calls that Writ, an Ejefficne Firm* : that this evil Spi rit ( once calt out ) may not find the Houfc of our Land (which, God knows is now ' neither Swept of Moral Vices, nor GarniJInJ with Moral Verities, but too much over- fpread with Epidemical Immortality) empty alto of all Grace, and (6 Return with Seven u-orfe Spirits than the forwcr, Matth. 12. 43, 44,4^. I would to God, England were not Jo much like 'Jericbo , WJwfe Situaticn was fltajant., but the tt'aitrs liter e naughty : Our freih River of Tbanrts lecms to R.un (6 near the (alt Waters-of Tybur (ever fince the c'.tr Fuwtflim with b.'S F^ef, Eztk.
Notorious Life
Ezek. 34, 1 8.) that they ta.: a little and fomewhat Imbib'd with the Salt-Sea of Rutne , 'I is too much Tinged with the Tmtture of its Holy Salt, Oh where is that Elijka, that will take a Crufe of better Salt fthan this pcpes HJySaltis) happily to hand in, that our Waters may be HealedtStc. 2 Kings 2 19, 20, 21.
/rfw,Hereis expofed to Sale the H?/y M/4 of the Vvrrm Af^r/jWhich, (ome of the Popes Dolours affirm, is as Sovereign and Salvu fical as the B'oud of her Son our Saviour. However, Tis commended moft Highly for never-failing to cure Conftimptions, far ex- ceeding the Milk of an Affe, or that of the Red-Cow. What Fools are the Confump- tive and Phtifical Popelings, that have fuch a Ready Cure by them, yet fb many dye of a Confumfticn^ which is fb Ranting and Regnant a Difeafe in thofe Hot Climates: Nay, What a Fool is the Confumptive Pcpe or Antichrifr himfelf, who doth not by this trufty trick difapoint the Divine Doom pa£ fed upon him, what need he Fear [that the Lcrd frail CONSUME Him with the Spirit of his Mouth.~] 2 Theil 2. 8. Seeing an Hearty Draught of this Holy Milk will cure the Cor- (umption : This Pope might then fay as one of his Hory Predece.Tours once faid, I will .have my Will [ Al Jefyito di dio ] in Du-
fpiglrt
.
of this frefent Pope of Rome. $5
ipight bf God ; But the mifcheif is, neither the Pope nor his Popelings dare take afuffi^, cient Dofeofthis Salmiferous Antidote, for* fear of marring the General Market hereof 'tis a long time fmee the Blelied Virgin gave her Milk, and they can expedt none in her Glorified Breafts, the old Stoek (fuppofe eve ry one take but a little fup, though that is not enough) muft needs be far (pent in above Sixteen Hundred Years, and where orhowthefe Traders make their old Store bring in »eu>, I know not, unlefs that Image of the Virgin ( which bid Bernard Good Mor row at his entrance into the Church, and whom that Father Rebuked, becaule She a Woman, took upon her (contrary to the Truly Apoitolical Canon) to fpeak in the Church , might fupply , for that Idol of Stone might equally and as Probably have Milk in its Breaft as well as a Voice in its Muth - But that which fpoil'd the expecta tion ofthisfrefh fupply of Holy Milk, was the Diicovery of a crafty Prieft that was crept into the Hollow Belly of this Holy Image, and that gave IJoly Bernard the Hearty Salutation , and fure I am, there could not be much Holy Milk in fuch a Pro fligate Priefts Breaft, who durft put fuch an affronting Cheat upon fo Holy a Father. But fuppofe there were fupply then, 'tis
above
9 tf The Notorious Life
above 5-00 Years ago, and this cry [wiH have any holy Milk, &C.~] that Mi'k-irre-t Market mult needs be down ef£ now, fe ing all their Milk-Maids (whereof the;/ cannot have many,while the Indulged Stews afford his Uuholinefs fuch a vaft Revenue ) are now fiirely fitting upon their Empty Pales: But I had forgot my (elf that the Beaft can work Wonders, and can multi ply that Holy Milk ( though but little from the Blelled Virgin) as well as Chriit did the1 Barly Leaves ; Yea, He hath done it to fucli an overflow, that the Prfeits ( all the Pope dom over) do expofe this Holy Milk to .Sale, all pretending that theirs is the very Milk of the Virgin Mary, which, were all they have in their Conlecrated Dairys gathered together into One place, Solomons prodigious Mdf-n Sea could not pofllbly contain it. Nay, hereby they put the greatelt Difho- now upon the Hoiy Mother of our Lord ( whom they pretend to Adore ) rn making' Her fuch a Milk-Beaftj as Ten of the beiS Cows in Holland cannot give the like quan tity in Ten Years,
Item, Hulj-Bread is here to be had : The Pope (good Manj takes care for your Table, and to furntfh it 16 far as Holy Watt Holy O>7, Holy Salt, Holy Milk, and Holy Bretul will go- : But furely all rhefe do but
look-
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 9 7
look like a Lent Dinner, I hope his Holinefs keeps a better Table for Himfelf: If you be a tpater Drinker, here's the belt of the Kind , Holy Water for yon , of the Popes own making \ ftiould have (aid, Ccnfecrating: If you be a Milk-Sop , Here's the belt of the Kind, Holy Milk, the (elf fame your Saviour Sucked out of the felf-lame Freaits, When he was a Child, and who u ill not be content with the tame Fare that Ered the Elefled Babe of Betbltkem, the H ly Chid Jefus , and becaufe the Majhr of this L. »r- ffaf, will not undervalue you as a fort of ibrry Sucklings, He is (o Kmd-ljearted as to allow you Bread to your Milk, that you may fop it and not fuck it, is not £, tng and fv¥fm£ ?ooc^ F^re^ efpecially , ot Udy Bread and Holy Milk You inn it not expect a Glals of Wine, for I rind not any illy Hlne in the Popes Ware focp. Ptrba ps he ai d his Prie/h Monopolizes it wholly to them- (elves, for in the Euchariit, the Cup is tor- bid to you of the Laity , you mint fuck Wtoe out of the Ercad, If you would have it, and can catch it.
Neither mu ft you grudge that yoli have onfely Bread ( though it be but courfc Ear- ley 'Bread, fuch as you were never poffibly brought up with ) *tis however Ildy Bread, tlic Holier, and (b more (atistadnry,
becauie
98 The Notorious Life
becaufe ( as this Mart-Mafter teUs Von ) 'tis a Fragment of tliofe feme Five Loaves Wherewith Chrift fed the Multitude i and picked out of the Twelve Baskets ( that -were taken away ) by lome of the Popes nimblelt Snips, but I wonder how- they have kept it from Moulding ever (ince. The Moulded Bread wherewith the Gibeen-es cheated Jofittat was not lo many Hours old* as this Hcly Bread is Tears, at this Day . If it be Sound Bread that is ft evvn you, take heed you be not cheated with it, as Jojhua was with the 'Mouldy : But you will fay, why is Holy Salt prepared for the Table, when the forementioned Fare needs it not ? Anfwer, You muft know 'tis not let there for Fafhion-lake onely, as ordinarily, for
Item, Here you may have Holy Fiflj too, and of the felf-lame two Fifties wherewith Chriit Fed the Multitude allb, the Bread and the Fifo were taken out of the fame Baskets ; and if you fiippofe it Frejh Fiflj, then there is ufe for your Salt , but to pre vent your Second Objection about the ufe of your Cty/, you mint rather fuppofe it Holy Ftfo Salted with that Holy Salt, (it could never have otherwiie kept fb long Iweet for this Sixteen Centuries ) and then your Htjlv Oyl will make your Holy Fifh ( 16 railed ^ilip down the better, and be mo-
di(h
tf this prefect Pope of Rome. 99
difh enough, and -what would you have more, is not here enough for a Four Penny Ordinary.
Item, Befides this Belly-Timber, here you are Treated with a Numberlefs Number of Rarieties. As
Firft, The Affes Tail upon which Chrift Rode ; not a word of his Ears.
Secondly, Jofepbs Breeches both Thread bare and out of Famion, they will do you neither Credit nor Service.
Thirdly, A Feather from the Cock that Crew, o and awaken'd Peters -Confcience ; yet this Startles not Peters Succeflbr for his Apoftacy ; as alfo a Feather from Grafoiels Wing, taken up at fuch a time when as An gels caft their Feathers.
Fourthly, Choice Hair Cloth, the lame as Elijah and John Baptift wore, good e- nough for the Pope to do Penance in, for forcing the Witnelles into Sack-Cloth.
Sixthly, Whole Cart Loads of Apoftfes Bones , fometimes thofe of a Thief ( as once ) drops in among them ; good for I know not what.
Item, Sold at a very Reafonable Rate,
Firft, An Holy Rag clip'd otf from
Ch rifts Seamlefs Coat ; *tis a wonder how
the Pope got it from the Soldier to whom ic
fell by calling Lots, and 'tis a wonder they
I have'
TOO The Notorious Life
. have not clipM it all away by this i ime.
Secondly, The Holy Relick of the very Slippers Chii'l: wore, when He, being wea ry' with walking about doing Gr.od, put oti his Shoes, for the eafe of his Feet, ftirely •they were made of well Tan'd Leather, that hits ftill, and are not Rotten to Dirt .ere this Day , and I wonder the Pope doth •expofe them, and not Monopolize them to himfeif, for they cannot want a Vertue to Cure liis Gouty Golls : 'I is ftrange we hear nothing of his Shooes ( in the Popes Warehoufe ) the Latchets whereof, John Eaptift ( though the Greateft Bern of Wc- mtn ) thofight himfeif Unworthy to Un- loofe, Mattb IT. n. Luke 3. 16.
Thirdly, The very Linnen Cloth with
which Chnjl was wrap'd in the Sepulchre,
as Iikewife that wherewith Chrift wiped his
Difciples Feet. I am thinking the Man that
; Cries in o-ur Streets, [ Here's jcur ftrcvg /ap-
, ing Linnen Cloth, '} might do good Service
in this Rcrm$) Market.
Fourthly, The very Ntedfes , Threap Jl-'crk-Badet and SciJJirs, of the Virgin Mary, wliidi would be excellently ufetlil for an Exchange-lhop,- and could not fliil to brin."j ;in a whole fhoal of Chapmen, &c. How the Po])e comes by all thefe Rich Con:n-.o-
dirics
of this prefer: t Pope of Rome, ioi
Cities for a!l kind of Cuftomers, is the Que- ftion ? But the Infallible Tradition of the Church mult be the Satisfactory and Si lencing Anliver.
Item, Laltly, Here you may have, what ever your Heart wifhes, or Need doth Re quire. Is it any of thole many things men-" tioned in Revel. 18. 12, 13. Rich all, here they are to be had. Want you Holy Bells ( Baptized with God-Fathers and God-Mo thers ) God Blels our Empty New Erecled Steeples, &c. Or want you Holy Beads^ made of Glafs, Wood, Stone, Coral or Am- bzr ; Holy Wax for your Candles ; Holy Knives for Cutting Hereticks Throats ; or Holy Kofcs, this Chriftntas time, a Rare Prc- fent for Princes ; or what elfe foever, all is Holy that comes from his Unholinels ; and all have a Power to drive away the Devil, yet the Devil takes mod? of -thole that are taken with thele [ PM? Fraudes ] Holy Cheats. None of their Names are Writ m the Lambs Book, Revel. 13. 8, God Bleis every good Engh^man from the Beaft and his Cheating Tricks. 9
Having taken a fhort profpect of the Graft of this Insatiable Beaft (to keep,flo(e itill unto the Irifo Malack'is Character of this present Pipe ) let us now take a brief View of his Lradty, He is a molt Acconv 'I 2
ioi 7 'he Notorious Life
plifti'd Beaft, his Infallible Unholinefs is De- icribed by an Infallible Hand ( the Spirit of Truth himfelf ) in his molt Horrible Accou trements, no lefs than Seven Heads to Plot with, for the more crafty carrying on of all his Gainful Cheats, and no lefs than Ten Horns to pufli his Plots emhvay with, and to pufli all down ( that ftand in his way ) with Unparrallel\l Cruelty. To pretermit all former Bloudy Plots in foregoing Ages of this prefent Popes Preclecelfors, againit all Proteftant Countries, ever fince the Refor mation, and againft England in particular, both in Jjjueen Elizabeth's, King James's, and in King Charles's the Firft's lime. I mail confine my felf to Characterize this Infatia- ble Beap, the Devils Patriarch, that now Poflelfeth the Roman Omnipotency.
His Name is Innocent the Eleventh, who after his Inftalment, was Arrayed with a White Surplice, wherein he Worfhip'd that God which had now Conftitnted him the Universal Monarch ; in this White Gar ment he feem'd as pure as Innocence it felt; there was nothing liirely under it , but Meeknefs, Genthnefs, and Lamb-like Innc- cencj^ You might then ftroke the Beaft, He would not fpurn you, you might put your Hand into his very Mouth, He by no means would Bite you. ''No, He had newly put
on
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 103
on the Name of Innocent , and He was ;' what ever he had been while a Cardinal ) now become an Innocent Pope, a Toothlefs Innocent Milk-Sop, that would neither Kick, nor Fling, nor Scratch, nor Bite ; but the mifchief was, He ioon ' after going to his Court-Office, De propaganda Fide to a Ccn- fult there, coming thither without his White Garment (that Reach'd down to his Foot ) His Red Shoes, and Red Stocking were there Unhappily Difcovered. At that Confab He Declar'd his Determinations, That he Re- fblv'd ( Adjuvants Diabolo ) to Reduce all the Heretical Coimtreys iif Europe into the Subjection of His Roman See, and He laid (' for a living Argument ) 'twas below both his Hignefs and his Holme ft to prove fiich a poor Puny, as his Predecefibrs, in playing fuch (mall Games as they had done ; He would ( for his part) Take New Measures, and Make fuch Methods, as neither God nor Devil could be able to Difapoint him of his Defign. Whereupon for the better Prc-foga* tion of his Popifo Faith, He prcpofcth the(e following Expedients, and not only 16, but Ittiibfetb them alfb upon that his Privy -Coun cil, who dare not gain-fey their God.
The fir/ Propofal Iwpojcd, was this, Go
forth you my Ermjjaries, and Debauch the
Heretical Coimtreys, Foilt your Loofe ~Prm-
I ciples
1,04 The Notorious Life
cifks, ( Calculated for, and Accomodated to, the Depraved Natures of Mankind in general ) this will fbon bring Men to Loofe Yraclices ; '"1 is found by Experience ( faith He in great Gravity, comporting with hi$ Grandeur ) a Profptrous Bait to Catch, and a Powerful Hook to . Hold whole Shoals of Profelites. I am a Fiflxr of Mtn, as my Fredecelior Teter was, yet I have a Trick, which He ( f.mple Fifher-man ) never thought of, or Practic'd ; 1 can make Men dtbei/ts in their Lives, and then they will turn Tapi/ls the fconer, for Hopping the Mouths of their Natural Consciences (which will be Barking) the better with my precious Pardons, whereby lean make the worlt of Sins Venial, &c.
Ihe Second Expedient propounded by this Pope there was this,You Jejttits mult be my Locufts, my Ktutefiaus to go into the Courts of all thcie Kingdomes, and let them all on a light Fire (in V»arrin# one aga'mlt another x) that ray Religion ('which hatti grown very cold ever iince Unhappy Luther cali'd the Pcpe , slutichrilt ) may be warmed again witli thoil' very FLimes that I ( by you m Engin-js ) have kindled. You know, Cljn hath made me a Filler ef Men, as before, a -id I find it belt Ftfmnig in Irmhhd Bale urn the true Sa'xmstnJir, tliat can belt
live
of this pretext Pope of Rome. i o $
live in the Flames, of Foreign and Secular- Princes Contentions, &c.
'1 he 'Third Propofal > was, to J> *w/e f/&0/* Kings that will not Truckle > and to Expnfe their Ki-ngdomes, ^r/'wo cccHpatwo, the rirft that can win it, kt them wear it, I will warrant the Allault of the Aggrelfor, &c.
Ttie'FotiFth nimble Trick he Fropol'ed was, faying, 1 hough 1 have a Ihaufand more Reaching and Elfec'tual Knacks to of fer, yet feeing you know them all fa well, 'ris fupef fluous to mention more, fave onely this, which is, Injlar Omnium. You mult in Reducing all others, Begin with that Stubborn Kingdom* of England, which hath been more fatal to my 1 ripple Crown thim a/1 other Kingdomes, and when you have made a Breakfaft of that, then make your" Dinner of this, &*ft and your Supper of that, &c. and fo go on and my Bhlfing go with you.
Thns ended the Sentpbical or rather Dia- bttlical Oration of this Innccmt Grave old Gentleman that never did, nor ever will do Harm to any.
This done, the Damnable Popifn Plot was in all its. Parrs and Paragraphs contrivred>&c. • The Romifh Fry ofVricfts andje\hit$^ (who were loon Hatch'd and. grew Fledge under his Holiness Wingj came Flying over in I 4 great
io6 The Notdrious Life
f reat Wild-goofe Flocks into England, we may fuppofe they came fully furnifhed with their Tick-lccks of Pardons, with their Pad- Iccks of Auricular Ccnfeffiw, and all other nfeful Engines to promote their Hellifti Trojetf, the Sum whereof in the general was, to Subvert the Efiablifh'd Government and Religion of this Kingdom, and to Re duce the lame to the Foppery ofPcpery, yea, and 'twas concluded at the Confult fwhich thefe Romifh Emiflaries came to Accom- plifli) that no manner of Tolleration mould be granted to any fort of Proteltants, but all fuch fhould be Extirpated Root & Branch, and if all other means failed, it mould be effected by Fire and Sward.
The cheif Confpirators, who defigned, and were engaged to carry on this Bloudy project, muft be thus Ranked in a lafting Record.
(tf3 Firft, The Fountain of thefe Bitter Waters, and Original of all, was this Trefent Pope Innocent the nth, who in the Congrega tion [ fie propaganda Fide ~] confifting of a- bout 35-0 Ferfons, (all fit Tools for the De- '.iirf Work) and held about December 1677. iisfbon as he was well warm in Peter's Chair, Ke Plots ( even in that cold Seafbnj work Hot enough for poor England : Then was it He beichd out that noctnt rather than Inno cent
of this prefent Tope of Rome. 107
cent Oration aforementioned, Declaring fur-- ther, that this Kingdome was a part of St. Peters Patrimony, and was forfeited to the Holy .See, by the Herefy both of "Prince and People, and (6 muft be difpofed of as he thought meet: though this Pot>e was the frimus motor, the yrimum mobile, or great Wheel that moved all the lower Orbs, and fet all the Mer Wheels on Work, yet Itt us take a fhort view of his linder-Engines , before we more fully give him his due Cha racter, upon this I aft (which at the lajt day will be a great ) Account alfo, to wit, his Plots, as before, his Cheats , in the one a crafty Fox, in the other a cruel Tyger, and furely .whoever were the Inftruments, the Members, the Hands and the Feet for Acting this Bloudy Plot, to Reduce England to the Roman Rotten Religion, we fhall find Him the Head and Principal Agent. My Defign is here to fet the Saddle upon the Right Horfe: 'Tis a Thoufand pitties, that the jetty larceners fhould be Hangd and Beheaded^ (though that be no more than what both DiflnbuWue and Commutative Juftice molt Juftly Required^) and the grand Thief ( that let them all on work) efcape Scot-free.How many .did pity thole poor mercenary. Rogues that were Executed for that Inhu mane and Cowardly Murther of that Emi nent
rcS Ths Notorious L/fe
nent Patriot EfejuireThinn, when they Aw Count Connifmark , the great Rogue, ( that fit his filly Valikls on Work) to be acquit ted . bite there is a [] 3U» ] a Vengeance ( even in the Judgment of no better than Barbarians, Ail. 28. 4. ) which will notjujjer either the one or the other long to It-ve ; be- caufe the God of Juftice hath peremptorily laid, that the B/MtifrSBld Deceitful Menfw'Ji not live cut half their days, Pial. f f. 23.
Take here a Diftind Lilt and Catalogue of the chief Plotters in this Late and Dam nable Plot, and View them from Head to Foot, from Top to Tee, as they ftand Ranked in our Englifh Records, and Orderly Re- giftred for everlalting Remembrance..
Firft, This Prefent fcpe Innocent the Ele venth , the Mafter of all the Mifrule and Matcblefs Mifchief : as the Philofopher faith of Finis, 'tis primus Intent ione, but ultimas Executione ; So muft 1 fay of this Fino Filth t He is the firft in Intention, ( his Curled Cha- radter being the principal end propofed in this prefent Difcourfe ) yet mult He come loft in Execution, not ontly in the Method of this Platform, butalfo ( for ought 1 yet lee ) in the Measures of Gods Providence : For the Law of Jujtke ( compared .to the Cobweb that catches the teller Fives, but cannot keep the great ones, &c.) is too
Lew
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 109
and Short Handed (as to Man) to Reach (b High and fo Far us the Great Goff of-' Rome, Yet iiirjly in due Season His £*; . jkall find him cut by the great God, Numb. 32. 23. unto whom we limit leave Him, for He is the Gal of Vengeance, Juftice is Htsy and He will Repay, Dent. 32. 3^. 43. Ron. 12. 19.
SeconMy ,Cartlinal H wanl, I y Eirth both an Englijl) Man, and Brother to the Great Duke of "Norfolk ; So one of the Popes lirit and litteit Engines to Betray England into His HJineJfa Hands, that thereby this CVr- siinal might the more Merit Saint T?etirs Chair upon this Popes Departure from it, and then this Sweet Bit ( our Land ) would prove a Sowceing Augmentation to Peters Yatrimwy. Therefore, as the Pope was Lcrd High AdrsiiYcl in the whole See of Rente ; ,co, it 'was concluded by the Cabal in the Coiledg dc frafagtmtla f'de, that this fame Engliflj Cardinal, Ihould be his Vice Adw'tral, and hereupon He was difbatch'd away from Rome to be the Pc^cs Lcgatus a Lateret or a NwSacb Nuncio into i.nglaTtd, upon fiich an imparalidd Errand, as never any 'EtxbaJj'a/1-.w durlt undertake, which was to take poiiejiibn of is in tins Popes Name, as if it had been elaps'd into his Hands for want of either Kcir or Irolieilour, though
Bleiied
no The Notorious Life
Bleiled be God it hatli both, and needs none of the Popes falfe Claims, or foul ufurpations: and to make this Cardinal more brisk in his
exploit, the Pope Creates Him of Canterbury ( as if there had been a Va cancy too ) and, that Sees Vaft Revenue be ing look'd upon as too little a Bribe for fb •Heroick an undertaker, the Pope ordains Him Forty Thouiand Crowns per Annum out of His own Coffers ( where there is Gold and Silver enough, &rc. Rev. 18. 12, 13.) as a neceflary fupplement to that pittiful Arch-Bifhoprick (the Befr and Richeft in England) that He might be had in more Veneration , and the better Support His Authoritative Grandieur : And as if this alone were below this Innocent Harmlefs Tope ( like another proud Hainan ) to lay His Violent Hands onely upon our 'Mordecai ( the .Bijliop of Canterbury, as well as King Charles the Second ) to Difpoflels them bodi of their Crown and Miter , but He daringly Difpoifeireth ( fo far as the good will of the evil Beaft would ftretch ) moft of our other Bifiops, promoting His own Fopelings as 16 many Interlopers in their places, as Father Tcrrot to York, Corker to London, Whitebread to Wtnchefter, Strange to Durham: G odder to Salisbury, Napper to Norwich, &rc. I ap peal to all thole Eifhops ( whom this Pope
would
of tins prefent Pope of Rome, in
would have turned out to Grazing , unlels they could have t urned in to Him ) whether His Name and His Nature do correfpond well herein, and whether they would noc have had hereupon tar greater Reafbn to brand Him ( as in Scripture , tbu « King Abaz, ) fey ing likewife , this is Pope Nocent, rather than Pope Innocent tlfe Eleventh: AH mult Truckle to Cardinal Howard His Nuncio.
Thirdly, Johannes Paulus de Oliva, comes in next to play his pranks, and as He had been the Father General of the Jcfuits in all Lands, 16 this Pope Conftitutes Him his Rert- Admiral, to Mann and to Mannage a right Romes Great Man of War, the Provincial of the Je frits in London, in (6 noble an Attack: but is Attacking in a Military manner, proper Work for an Olivets , whole Name carries an olive Leaf (that Badg of Peace J in its Mouth, but it feems, He will be like his Great Mafter, Pope Nocent Innocent, there is War in his Heart. Which minds me of a Story concerning the foregoing Pope Inno cent the Tenth, who bare for part of his Arms [ a Dove with an Olive Branch in her Mouth j Whereupon our Turn Coat and Runagate DoEtw Bully wittily Quibbles up on oliv* vera, profoundly perverting it to Oliver us, and highly Courted that Protector
with
^l^ Tbe Notorkus Life
with his SeiMphick Companion of the Olive and Oliver, See his Life of /-//for, p. 260,26 ri '•Tis the genuine Chancier of u "/?/?«; ro have Hattfy ( or the O//-tv <,f ~ Ftvw J ill his Atcutb, arid rb have dt'iigned ( yea Cofrfe- crated) Swords and Daggers in his Heart. Oh brave Olive, Oh brave Oliver, the han dle of the' Sword that fhonld have been Shedth'd in our Bowels, Readied to R<m,^ and was held in this Brave olivas Hand.
Fourthly, Tedro ^ferommo de Conlnba^ Pro vincial of the Jefuits in New-Caftle in Spain, the Pope mufe have here a Paul ( as His Third Engine ) and a 'Peter fas this Fourth) engaged with Himfelf herein, though both Jejuits ( without wbom no Mifchief in all Europe can be managed , the Hand of Jcab or Jefaite is in all ) to make this Damnable and Dtcbdical Tlot more like tyoftolical : That Work which this Pope cut out for hirri, Was to re a drard Filet in his Countrey, ard; to give the Plor a lift endways, both with' Money and Men i tinder the notion of Fil grims : and where this Popifh Pedro or 7V ttr plaid his pranks like a right Beautifeu t Sow his Seed of Contention betwixt that Crown arid this, thereby the more to facili tate the further Progrcfsof the Plot.
Fifthly, La Cbefe a. '~fe'tn!t :co , and Con- n-r (and fo muit be Privv
of this prefent Pope of Rom?, n j
jPrivy tp all his Royal Cefigns) He was alfb a Grand Pilot in that Countrey, whole hands WLTe dire'fted to Steer a right Courfe here in by that conceited Coxcomb, our Cole- wan, who was hang'd for his pains in Be traying his own Native Countrey.
Sixthly, Another Jefuite ( 1 have rot his Name, and indeed 'tis not worth enquiry) who is Confe!,oiir to the Empcrcur of Ger many , mult Create Fends betwixt Him and our King : 1 hat, with all thefe pretty Di- verfions , we might be wheadkd into a Ga zing abroad , while they by their Englifo Jefuits, &c. could cut our Ifcroats at Home: Mark here, what a Sacred Num ber is Six , with them there muft be 5ix of Forreign Affiftants (the Number of the Beaft is Three Sixes as before ) and ftill J efn its every where muft be the Inftru- mems of Cruelty, though the Pope be the hand to Improve them : I the lefs \vonder 3t this, fince I Read that paliage in the Jefuit Muffenis , Writing the Life of Igna tius Ley all their Founder , He there Inge- rioufly confelleth, that their Father Imitated the Devil in ufing Tricks to Cwvm ( or rather Ttr-jirt ) Difci^les, &*c. You may S\vear, that all ths Jcfuitsfo Patrizjnsind will Try the Devils 7'ricks with the beft of 7^:.,^r.
Cut
U4 The Notorious Life
But are our Jefuits in England afleep all this while ? No, the Pope hath Domtfiick Tools as well as Forreign.
This Popes Domeffick Engines erhployed here, were Thefe
Firft, The •'Provincial of the Jefuits , for the Time being in England, who was White- Bread, who would have made Brownbread and Brann of us , but he fell into hx own Pit, &c.
Secondly, The Bcnta'iftin* Monks at the Savoy. The Duke of Savoys Country was eall'd Malvoy, becaufe it was pefterd fb notorioufly with Theeves as made it Mala Via or Malvoy, that is, a Dangerous PaJJage, but when- the Thieves were Rooted out, its Name was changed into Salvoy or Savoy , the way thence to Somerfet-houfe, makes the Application more eafie.
Thirdly, The Jefuits and Seminary Priefts, who were Sowing their Tares among the Wheat ( like the Envious one their Father') all over the Land, they being about the Number of Eighteen Hundred, a large black Regiment under Roman Colours.
Fourthly, Many Laj-Papifts both of the Mobility and Gentry ( too well known to need naming) who had all Comniiffions •Sealed by Brave Oliva aforementioned, both for Civil and Military- Employ, and fent them
bv
of this prefeni Pope of Rome. 1 1 ,5"
by this Pope, as the Higheft Marks of his Favour. , , ? i'.-;-j
Fifthly , Multitudes , M&titinUi of the LajrPapifts among the Commonalty. • Even all the Papifts in England could not chufe. but be Engaged in fo Glorious and Merito rious a Matter ;. and this is the more pro-, bnble, If not only their General Principles Imbibed with their Religion, but alfo the Popes particular .Teft ( for. Anathematizing us HereticksJ Impofed-Univerlally on them, be but Well confidered. , Sixthly, For itill we mufl; have the Six in Adoration of Six Hundred Sixty Six, &c. All the Englifh Covents beyond Sea, ( as St. ors, &c. ) rnuft be.almoft drain'd Dry, and Transported Incognito's, hither, toCor- roberate the better carrying on of theCa-. tiiolick Caufe, Which was now become as Catholiek as their Religion, having likewife all the molt Eminent of the Popifh Clergv in Europe Engaged to help at a Dead Lift, and to Lift England to Rome. Hereby this Plot became the Unanimous Ad of the, Whole Romifo Church, Whole Infallible and Innocent Head (this Pope ) Adjur'd them to it, upon the forfeiture of theft Fathers Bleiling. Though we may not Imagine every Individual Popeling could know the whole Intrigue ( for there might be # K Wheel
1 1 6 The Notorious Life
Wheel within a Wheel ) yet in the Lump they pay to this Fop^ their Blind Obedience, however the Guilt both of the parts, and of the whole, falls upon the Innocent Con- fcience of this Pope, which all his Holy Wa ter cannot wafh oil, and make him as Inno cent as his Name, mould he Conjure Tibur itfelf.
Now when His Holinefs had thus well furnifhed his Holy Caufe with Men ( a dou ble Set of Sixes, a Jury of Twelve, I can not fay, All <~jocd Men and True, No, not fb much as the Foreman hintfelf) His next Care is to be Ihpply'd with Money, the Si news of His Holy War, and though his own private Exchequer be Puteus In exbaujtus(a.s he once laid of England, when it was his Afs to Ride on, and therefore would fain beftride her foft Baek again, ) an Inexhau- Jtible Fountain, yet the Old Crafty Fox liked better to get feme Bearers, well knowing that many Hands make lighter Work. Here upon by his Afofolical Command^ as well as Example. A Vaft and Prodigious Fund was quickly Ereded for fo Great and Pious a Work.
Fir/, The Pope himfelf, to be a good Pat tern to others, conveys into his Sacred Trea- fiiry by Paulas de Oliva, or Paul Olive, Ele- vtn Tbwfand Crowns, I wonder He made it
not
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 117
not even Twelve, and the Crown's, PotmJs 5 His own full Coffers Revel. 18. 12. might -jvell enough have born it befides ; the Re- -gaining of England to His Revenue would well enough have Countervail'd that Coft.
Secondly, The Catbolick King ( His Eldeft Son ) of Spain (names his Holy Father, in Advancing Ten Thouland Pounds by Peter Jeronimus ; thus his Indian Gold was Expend ed.
Thirdly, His Moft Chrifrian Son of France (to fhew himfelf the better Chrijtian, or rather Antichriftian, ) Advanceth Ten Thou- &nd Pound more by Father Le Cbeefe, what a (hame it is, that His Holinefs mould be out done by both his Sons, when it was pe culiarly HisCaufe, and He would have Run away with the Profit.
Fourthly, I wonder we hear nothing of the Emperors Charity, was it becaufe he was too Nigardly, or becaufe the Male-Contents of Hungary kept his Coffers Empty ; how ever, divers coniiderable Sums were tranP mitted to Cokman by Foreign Ministers, among, whom, He from Germany might be one.
fifthly, But the Engtifi Jefuits ( fuppo-
fing the Emperor to be too -Narrow So///V, )
Ex Abundantly fupply'd all Defers, they
& z having
1 1 8 The Notorious Life
having Tbreeftore Thoufand Pound per An- mm, Eftate in Land here, and an Hundred Thoufand Pound Ready Cafh, a conliah; Running Stock in the way of their "Trade which ( you know ) is the Mjftery of Ini quity.
Sixthly, The Benefit ftine Mwks (not tr be thrult out as Rotten ) contribute out 61 their Blefled Treaftire, Six Thouland Pound to purchafe the Popes Benediction, whom they alfo exceeded in their Benevolence, &<
Seventhly, God Blefs us, here's the Third Six again, and 16 we have got rhe exact Number of the Beaft, Six, and Six, and Six, or Six Hundred Sixty Six, and to make up this Number compleat, the Englijl) Catholick ('as well as Rcmon) Grandees were free Contributors of moft Ample Benevolencien to ftiis fo Great and fo Glorious a Work.
No fooner had this Innocent Pope thus provided Himfelf ( though He as to his parf, comes oft" but Stingily ) with qnantum fuf- fcit ( or rather fxjfocfif) as to Juitice God- frey ) both tit Mtn and Money : He then lends forth His hungry Beagles to Hunt the •hflrmlefs Hare, that never gave them the Jeait provocation : but He muft do it, 'trs .ihe nature of the B'eaft to- worry the Harm- ?eis, and- 'tis the cnjtome ( which is a fecond rafure v of this Innocent ¥<ope to be notw'f- oi! ay jVit-fw to tine bmocent. The
I^o fhe Notorious Life
Succeeded fb far as. to make this Man the firjt Martyr of our -Religion, and a fair Ran- fow of cur Realm. ~ .
The like was Attempted upon Juftice Arnold, though no other Crime was found in either, lave a faithful Dilcharge of their Oath and Duty. Nor againft Juftice Pye neither, yet Bodnam the Papilt prevail'd to knock down his Clay-Cruft with his Bill, whereby thisgW Pye (a lerviceable Difhin fJcreforijhire) was Deftroyed.
Fourthly, The Popes' Agents ( being now Flefh'd in Proteftants Blond, yet unable to filfle the Plot, when it once was Declared by both Houfes of Parliament that there was a Traiterous Defign of the Pope to Subject this Kingdom to his Tyrannical Govern ment, by thefe Five pernicious Lords in the Tower , whereof Stafford lately Execu ted was, &c.) do then club their Wits, not onely with this Pepe (-the Devils Eldeft Son ) but even with the Devil himfelf, how they might handlbmly Sham it, and this they la- tour in the very Fire to Accomplifh.
Fifthly, Then began they to play their Popifh pranks in Slaving the Kings Evidence, Sir Dennis Aftkurnham, the S'aint Owners Boys, are brought in to Accufe Dottor Oats of Perjury, as Lane and Osborn did o .the like pranks againft Prance, Bedlce,
of this prefent Tope of Rome. 1 1 1
&c. but their Bowl Runs not here wirhout a Rub for their Defign of Srabborn- ing Alderman Brook and Captain Bury, be ing Dilcovered, this Difcover'd alfo that all the aforefeid Tools were but the Popes or the Devils Trunks through which he ipake, as he uled to do in his Dumb Images, which the Father of Lyes taught to lay what he lifted, yecmuft.be his Oracles.
Sixthly, They, being Non-plns'd herein alfo by the Over-ruling Hand of God, be gin new Methods by the Popes Advice ( and indeed, what fhould direft Hands and Feet but the Head) then thought of fliift- ing the Plot from their own fhoulders by Forging feveral Sham-Plots, all to be Fa thered upon the Proteftants : thus at a pinch they are Ingenioje nequam , wickedly witty.
Hen quantum fubitis cafibus Ingenwrn.
Yet this was but to new Vamp a pair of their old Boots, for that Impious Pope Pitts the Fifth, taught his Popilh Priefts, that when they had by the Powder Plot blown up the King (James ) Lords and Com mons, to Father that filthy Fad upon the Puritans : the* Father of Lyes is put hard ;o his Trumps , when he is fo low Run, K 4 that
The Notorious L/fi
that he hath no new Tricks in his Tinkers budget to Itop holes with , but is forced to bring forth his old Bciiiboki Stratagems, However He is Refolved to drive this Tin- kers nail f new pointed ) fo far as it would "go with his Hammer.
. In Order to this, They ftart many Sf>a&- flotsy wherewith they indeed began betimes, even in 1661 fas Captain Tarranton Demon- ilrates, when the Crown was fcarce warm Upon our King Charles his HeacT: but that 2nd all other Succeilively, were but low Games compared to this, for then they had 'not fucli a Damnable Plot Discovered to Palliate as now, even this Pjot of Plots that was Hatched at Rome as (bon as this Indent Pope ItorrrTJ "Peter's Chair, his Miter was icarce warm upon his Hea<4 fput upon him In the Year 1676.) but prefently the pevil enters into him fas if he had taken JuJass Sopj and lets both his Head and his Heart to Contrive this Bloudy Defign, which for i wo full Years (like that fir ange River Re lated in Hiftojyj Ran underground, before it brake forth and was Difcoveretf in'^he Year 167^. Now when that Devil and his Deeds of Darknefs was Brought to Light : though long wrapM up in Samuels ManUe) by the Father of Lights, who always o.v'er- Satan in in his own Eqw, thele wliite "• • "' \Vitchaj
of thU prefettt Pope of Rome.
Witches would fain Conjure him down with fmiltiplyd Sham-plots : Indeed,one begetting anotherQm/pft"0 Unius was GeneratioAlteriw.
The Firft was, The Clapping up of Afr. Chpoolinto the Tower, before their plot was Discovered , that fhey might have him at Hand to Father the Kings Murder upon, fo (boo as he fhould fall by their Hands, tvhereas all the Treafan that can be charg'd upon this model!: Gentleman, is, that he jiath led a Retired Life for many Years, and onely feekt to betray the Secrets of Nature by hard Study, as alfo that he Marryed Olivers Jewel, which render'd him more fit to Fatten their Defigns upon.
TheSecW was, A Railing of the Report, that Jujtice Godfrey was & Papift (one of their Creatures laid fo much to my (elf ) and that he was Murdered by the Proteftants, *&c. This, by Devils means, was made the common pifcourfe in every Coffehou(e, to •317111 le the Nation , and to give them a •Diverfion from the Fapifts. The now Ho- •neft Mr. Dangerjithl knows it to be true.
Of the feme Bran was a later Report that Juftice Godfrey Hangd himfelf, for which jV. T. wasPillory'd, both could not be true, if the one, then not the other, whereas nei ther is true, for he neither Hangd himfelf, jior civet} he by Proteftants but by Papifts
' Hands :
Notorious Life
Hands : ft ill the Death of one Sham-plot gave Life to another, and one Bafied begat another to the end of the Chapter.
The time would fail (as Room I am fure doth) to Reckon all Romes Plots.
The Third was (to omit Netervils endea vouring to Suborn Captain Bury and Alder man Brooks, &cj The Duke of Buck, was an Eye-fore for faying (I fuppofe) he would never turn Papilt, till they can eat up the Devil, as, they fay, they do God in their Hoft.
For this they firft Accufe him of Treafon, and this failing, of Sodomy.
The Fourth was, The Earl of Shaft shury was their greateft ftumbling Block, becaule His Sagacity had fb oft Countermined their Devilifh Defigns , Hereupon, Plots upon Plots were laid againft his Life : both hy Men and Women, in City and Country.
The Fifth was, Sir William Waller had f while in Commiffion) been a Thorn in their Sides, for daily Ferreting the Foxes out of their Holes, where they had Earth'd them- felves, and openly Condemning their Trum peries to the Flames of a Purgatory-fire above ground : no wonder then, if they at that time fought to blaft his Reputation, as they ( to wit, Monfon, whom he had committed to Newgate) and Nevil , aforementioned,
(tf/ftfi
of this prefect Pope of Rome. 1 1 ^
(•Alias Paine) do now feek to Deftroy his Life, the Preservation whereof the 'whole Nation, yea, the whole Froteftant Intereft are obliged to Pray for, He being an Adive Inltrnment in Gods Hand for the Prelerva- tionofboth.
But the Sixth fand ftill this Miftery of Ini quity Runs all in Sixes both in the Real and in the Sham-plots, in the fcrtner and in the latter Diftribution. ) was a Plot of Plots, a "Wickednefs with a Witnefs indeed : which (in fbme fenfe) was worfe tkan either the jrft or Parifian Maffacre, wherein good Men onely loft their lives, but herein they muft lofe their Reputations too, as Branded with Rebellion to Polterity . "I was worfe than the Cruelty of Nero, who only wifhM all the People had but one Neck , that He might cut them all off at one Blow : but here was more than a hare u>ifo, a crafty en deavour to blow up all the Proteftant Lords ( the Duke ofMonmouth, &c. ) All the Pro teftant Gentry and Teamanry in City and Country at one Elaft, by fixing High Trea- fon upon them all Univerially : and when tlie Knife was at our Throats, God fent Sir William Waller to turn up thebottou of Mad-dame Celliers Meal-Tub, where all the Bran of this Briuiih Intreague was Difco- vered, Cum mult is aim ^u^e nunc perfcrifare e. Thefe
The Notorious Ltfe
Thefe and a Thoufand more pretty Inno cent Pranks hath this Pope Innocent the Ele venth plaid in poor England, though not in his Per/o», yet by his Pro*/, whatever His Slaves and Vaflais have Aded here, even Mat chiefs Villanies, All have been by an Implicit Faith, and by a Blind Obedience to his A-pofrolical ( or rather Ayoftaticol ) Com mands ; but furely that Servant who will be Hang'd for his Matter, or for his Ma- Iters Fault more than his own, muft needs have more pf Blind Charity , than of a Solid judgment.
l3r One would Admire, that any Hu mane Breaft could be fo Capacious as to contain in it fo much Villauotts Venom as this Innocent Pope bath poured out upon England ; but is here all ? No, Scotland, France, Ireland and Holland, yea, and all other Proteftant Countries, mutt likewife £e Wounded ivith the Poifonful Sting of this .Fiery Ffying Serpent, this Great Red Dragcn, Mounted aloft upon the Highefy Theatre in the Christian World, hath his profpeft into all thefe places, and, as if He True Baft? Ihi> Kills down-right with his very Looks, His Looks are Top-full of Fafcinatjon. 'Jo tell diftincWy how he hath Bewitched with his bare Lwks all thofe Lands aforenamed, ire anotjier Vplufli. Take here
only
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 117
only a very Brief Landskip hereof, which yet may ferve to fatisrie, that this pretend ed Head is Top-full of Poifbn, and this Ca- tholick Head of the Church Transfufeth a Fatal Poifon into all the parts of the Body ; his Venom is as Univerfal as his Headship.
As Firft-y For Scotland, He fent feveral Tetiiirs to Preach there under the Notion of Presbyterians, who Induftrioufly Blew up the Coals of Difcontent among that People, knowing that Oppre/ion rnaketb Wife Men Mad, Aggravating to them their Unbeara ble Burdens under Epifcopal Tyranny, ex- citeing them to Vindicate their Religion and Liberty with the Sword, and promising them in the Popes Name, That they fhould be Alfifted with Eight Thouland Cathdicks to overturn the Government.
Oh how did this Pope Laugh in his Lawn Sleeves, to fee liimfelflb Successful. See Dr. Oats Narrative, Art. i, 74, n.
Secondly, As to France, How far this In- nocene Pope hath been Nscent there, How far his Tintture of Lucifer hath turn'd his Cbri- ftian Son into Anticbrijtiant may be Legibly Read, even in Capital Letters, in the Blondy Wljalet upon the Backs of the Httgvnots, but fnoft of all in thzt'-DetefableTeft, which Wounds not their Bodies only , but their unlefs they will Abjure the Prote^
ftant
The Notorious Life
fiant Religion, Anathematize all Proteftants, this hath Tu rn'd out of France many Thou- fands of the Tendered part of that People into Foreign Countries, though it be fo Dia metrically contrary to the Sacred Editt? of Nants, io fbitmnly Sworn to by 'the French King. Yet this Pope, byiiis Om- nipoter.cy, dare Abfolvehim from this Oath, and Undertakes to make Sin a Duty. See Sir William } filer's Account of the prefent State of the Trot eft am s there. And fee alfo, The Politicks of France. And whether all this Gonteipt betwixt the Father and the Son, about the Regalia's, be not all a Juggle, ( feeing the poor Proteftants are among hands 16 levearly Perfecuted, and peltilent Jefliitsfb Cordiaiiy Embraced, ) Time will Declare.
Thirdlj, As to Ireland y Dr. Oats De^ pofeth, Narrat.pag.6) ,66.71131. this Innocent Pope fent his Bloudy Info Hounds, Commlljlons^ Arms, and Eight Hnndred Thousand Crowns, that they might cut the Throats of the Proteftants again, as they had done by ano ther Innocent Popes Order in One Thoufand Six Hundred Forty One. The Death of the Duke of Ormond mould lead this Po- pifh Dance, the Pope loofes of his Blond- Hounds ( Four Jefuits ) who Undertook to Difpatch the Duker Twenty Five Thou-
land.-
of this prefent Pope of Rome. 119
land Irijh were to Rife, and play their Old Bloudy Game, wherein they were Experi enced, and Artificial Gamefters. Thefe were to Join with a French Army to be Landed there, and as good Gamefters of that Kind as they, fo fall on to their Old Trade of Maffacring, &c. Yea, fome of thofe Irijh Cattel had a Difpenfation from this Pope to take the Oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy, provided they promife to Betray their Garrifons,, and other Trufts; So that when you fee a Papiit fwallow thofe Oaths, you may Swear 'tis with fuch a frovifo, He hath fome Truft or other to Be tray.
Fourthly, Holland, There this Innocent Pope hath fet his Foul Foot ( of the Beaft ) to purpofe, in lending his Moft Chriftian Son, moft Unchriftianly to Scourge them for their Herefie, and to over-run their Coun- tfey with his Rapacious Army i and had not God Almighty put an Hook into the Jaw of that Proud Leviathan at Utrechj He had laid their Land under an Abfolute Defolation. To fay nothing of His Intrigue- ing Influences to plunge them and us into a War to Waft and Weaken each other, that He might the eafier worry us both : To fay nothing of Hungary and other parts of Germany , nor of the Three Northern
Crowns \
130 Ttie Notorious Life ..
Crowns ; in all which fie hath throughly tryed the lame Traity Tricks of Divide, and Command, &C. i •;
Yet while this Pope is thus Malevolent and Mischievous abroad ( embroiling all Countries with his Contagious Evomitions ) He is all this while Mighty Magnificent and Magifterial at Home , itrutting about in that Splendour and Grnndettr, as if He were more than a Mortal Man on Earth, one of. the Immortal Angels of Heaven, Refembling the Angelical Nature, not onely in Innccency in his Name Innecent, but alfo in Luflrs and Glory , as to his Garb and Deportment. Grant Him to be one of the Angels Order,- yet undervalue him not, by reckoning him among the Inferior Rank. No, let him be Reputed no lefs than proud Lucifer, a Prince or Principality among them,&c. Ifa. 14.14. As to his Innocency , Angel like, I can lay little of it, and fure 1 am nor no body elle ( unlefs fame of his Sycophants who can be content to lick up his Slaver, as once one Varafae did a Tyrants) no further than his Name [Inrioceni] Will be the Guarrantv: To be Nccent in Nature ( as the premises have proved him ) and to be Innocent tn Name, is to make himielf a compleat lump of ContradiLtion : However this Whore of can exactly Imitate Solomons Whorr.
in
of this prefect Pope of Rome. r 3 r
in wiping her Mcuth, and faying I have not done thole mifchtefsin allthofe Lands afore mentioned : But as to this Splendour and Glory, Angel-like, I have; inors to fay than I have room for, as to his Roman Grandeur* never was Jaddus ( the High Prieft of the Jews ) (b Richly Arrayecf for Glory and Beauty, when Gnat Alexander met him and fell down to Worfhip him for a god, as this Roman Pontifex in all his pompious pontifi- calibus is, either fitting in his Chair of State, or ftanding upright, or ftrutting about. The Prophet Eztkiel moft graphically Defcribes this Anointed Cherub, that Seats himfelf intht Holy Mountain <>fGcd,&fosas Gc;/(that is a de-. greeabovean^^f l)wue ring himfelfwith every pretiotts Stone, the Rubys, the Diamonds, the Jafper, the Saphire and JLmerauld, &c. Ez^k, 28. 2. i j, 14, 15-, to 20. Oh what a glit tering and glorious Scarlet coloured Beait is this, thus bedeckt with Radiant Jewels. No wonder if they give him this Canting Courtfhip [Thou art the prime of all Bifliops, the Heir of the Apt iftlet, an Abel for primacy (iure I am, not for Religion) a Noah fir Government (not for Righteoufnefs) an A- brahamfor Patriarkflnp ( not for Piety ) a Mdchifede&kfor Order, an Aaron for Dignity, a Mofes for Authority, a Samuel for Judica- a Peter for rower, yea; a Corifi fa
IJ1
The Notorious Life
Unction , but none of them for Holinefs, though that be his Title : No wonder if his pickthanks go yet higher, in calling him rtfjeir Lord God, their Creator in whom they muft Believe, and whom they ?nuft Obey upon pain of Damnation ~] no wonder if they fay to this their God three times [Oh Thou that takeft tnvaj the Sins of the World, have Mercy on us. Thou eanft make a Sin 10 be no Sin, & contrb] No wonder if Pope- lings Kifs the great Toe of their Great God, in a Country where C?od hath Toes, which Mofes (who came neareft him ) could not DKcern, and much lels Kifs, Dent. 4.12,15-. No wonder if Kings and Emperours hold the Stirrop, to this God, when weary with Walking, and would Ride, one Beait upon die back of another, rro wonder ifodefckal- cho thought his Name too bafe for a God, as Offavian did, when chofen Pope at Eighteen Years old, caft off his Name becaufe Heath- niflj, and calls himfelf John the Thir teenth, but he proved fticli a God as ivfed to drink Healths to the Devil, and in his Diceing would Pray, that Jupiter, Vemrs and all the Devils would help him. This was a Mad Jack indeed, and as e All good.
of this prefent Tope of Rome. 133
To conclude , come my Country-men,- how can you like to Worfhip fuch a God, (who is rather a Devil Incarnate, or the Devils Patriarch) can you itoop to kifs his jlinking Tee, can you hold his Stirrup ( as too many are doing) till he get upon your owii Backs and Ride you to the Devil, Grave Bifiop Ufoar feard a Mafiacre approach ing, and that this very Pope would be the chief Agent in it ? Can you Court in a blou- dy Villain, who will certainly cut your Throats ? Can ycjti like to Trade with fiidi a Cheat (that is M Crafty as Cruel, having as much of the Fox as of the Lyon ) in his Trafli and Trumpery afore mentioned ? This Pope had great hopes of Reentry into Eng^ land by his hopeful Plot , hereupon Cotting- tons Bones were brought to be Buried here? to take pofleflion of it as Jacob did in like matner of Canaan: Indeed, the late Comet frighted him into ftich a coll Sweat, as no thing but a Dutch Stove could bring warmth into him again, and the Cockatrice laid by the Prophetic k Hen in Camfidcglis Garden itnn'd him a little; But now he Recovered with warm Cltatbs and hot Cordials again, . . vet 1 hope 'tis but a lightning before his fall : God forbid , that the Imperial Crown of J>£iV»^ fliould again Truckle to the Mker
ac
134 "The Notorious
and Tripple Crown of this Pope.- Erafmu? .Satyrical Drollery prevailed againlt the Pope , as well as Luthers Argumentative Gravity, I wifh the like Efficacy to this Dii- courfe, and let all good People fay, Amen.
FINIS,
\
•*•
*